12-23-2011, 02:08 AM
My baby and I have been together for 15 years as of 12/26 this year. In general, life couldn't be better and I am fortunate to have this wonderful, affectionate, thoughtful guy in my life. I love him with all my heart, and I feel loved by him every day.
BUT, and you knew that was coming, there's one pet peeve that always comes up this time of year. And that's gift selection. I am so easy to buy for. I am obsessed with 3 things. Everyone knows about it. I have a room filled with things related to these 3 things. All you have to do to make me happy is buy something, anything related to these things and I am thrilled by the thought, let alone the actual thing.
But he never does that. He buys me out of left field stuff that puzzles me. Things I can't see how he'd ever, ever, ever think I'd like or need. For 14 years, I just took them and smiled and let it go. But last year, on New Year's day, I gently mentioned the "gift thing". It seemed to go okay. But them my birthday came and wow, it was worse. I couldn't bring it up. I just couldn't find a way that wouldn't start a huge fight or hurt his feelings.
So for 8 months now, I have constantly been dropping 2-ton brick like hints. First I said, let's not buy anything for each other. Saying we don't need anything and why waste the money, our gifts are each other. He resisted that and insisted we should just buy one gift each. So everytime we were in a mall I would say really loudly and robotically "Boy oh boy! A silver ID bracelet. I sure wish I had one of those with my name engraved on it" or "Wow! Isn't that a nice jacket! Sure wish I had that for the winter!" etc, etc.
Finally around Thanksgiving, I thought I'd make it easy when it didn't seem to be sinking in at all. I told him instead of buying me a present, just do one of the two following things: fix our dishwasher (which has been broken 4 years and would cost $50 to fix) or fix the drain in our bathtub so I can take a long hot bath on New Year's eve. I made it crystal clear that either of those things or both of them would knock my socks off and not to consider doing ANYTHING A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G else. I gave him the number to an electrician and a plumber.
So a month later, my dishwasher isn't fixed and the tub isn't fixed and I told me tonight that he'd decided not to do that and to buy me something else. I hate this about myself, but I am furious and really hurt. I am so sure, I am going to get clothes that fit his style and not mine, or some electronic gadget I don't have any use for. I want to get up off the couch and walk out and find a hotel room and call a plumber and electrician myself and rub his face in it tomorrow and just be mad and ignore him till January.
I know this sounds petty. I don't have the heart to bring it up to any of my friends, but I am so hurt and feel that my wants are ignored and that he's being thoughtless and selfish and that the thoughtlessness is a continuation of the bad gift selection over the past 15 years.
I know plenty of folks are single and some of them are lonely and would love a man like mine, but I can't push the sadness and hurt away. I am trying to rein this in, but I am afraid its going to turn in to a huge blow out argument on Christmas Day. That's part of why I want to go to a hotel.
Please don't be too mean if you're gonna criticize me. I just need to vent and would like other people's points of view.
Ricky
BUT, and you knew that was coming, there's one pet peeve that always comes up this time of year. And that's gift selection. I am so easy to buy for. I am obsessed with 3 things. Everyone knows about it. I have a room filled with things related to these 3 things. All you have to do to make me happy is buy something, anything related to these things and I am thrilled by the thought, let alone the actual thing.
But he never does that. He buys me out of left field stuff that puzzles me. Things I can't see how he'd ever, ever, ever think I'd like or need. For 14 years, I just took them and smiled and let it go. But last year, on New Year's day, I gently mentioned the "gift thing". It seemed to go okay. But them my birthday came and wow, it was worse. I couldn't bring it up. I just couldn't find a way that wouldn't start a huge fight or hurt his feelings.
So for 8 months now, I have constantly been dropping 2-ton brick like hints. First I said, let's not buy anything for each other. Saying we don't need anything and why waste the money, our gifts are each other. He resisted that and insisted we should just buy one gift each. So everytime we were in a mall I would say really loudly and robotically "Boy oh boy! A silver ID bracelet. I sure wish I had one of those with my name engraved on it" or "Wow! Isn't that a nice jacket! Sure wish I had that for the winter!" etc, etc.
Finally around Thanksgiving, I thought I'd make it easy when it didn't seem to be sinking in at all. I told him instead of buying me a present, just do one of the two following things: fix our dishwasher (which has been broken 4 years and would cost $50 to fix) or fix the drain in our bathtub so I can take a long hot bath on New Year's eve. I made it crystal clear that either of those things or both of them would knock my socks off and not to consider doing ANYTHING A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G else. I gave him the number to an electrician and a plumber.
So a month later, my dishwasher isn't fixed and the tub isn't fixed and I told me tonight that he'd decided not to do that and to buy me something else. I hate this about myself, but I am furious and really hurt. I am so sure, I am going to get clothes that fit his style and not mine, or some electronic gadget I don't have any use for. I want to get up off the couch and walk out and find a hotel room and call a plumber and electrician myself and rub his face in it tomorrow and just be mad and ignore him till January.
I know this sounds petty. I don't have the heart to bring it up to any of my friends, but I am so hurt and feel that my wants are ignored and that he's being thoughtless and selfish and that the thoughtlessness is a continuation of the bad gift selection over the past 15 years.
I know plenty of folks are single and some of them are lonely and would love a man like mine, but I can't push the sadness and hurt away. I am trying to rein this in, but I am afraid its going to turn in to a huge blow out argument on Christmas Day. That's part of why I want to go to a hotel.
Please don't be too mean if you're gonna criticize me. I just need to vent and would like other people's points of view.
Ricky
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
