11-07-2007, 12:07 PM
There is a subtly different spin to this though, which I have observed many times ...
I agree 100% with Michael that it's not necessarily a bad thing that we're asked - however in more cases than not I have witnessed people lying about having a boyfriend by fudging the gender issue - I know, I've done it many times in the past myself ... for the exact reasons you've outlined which is basically that you don't want to have people looking down their nose at you, or branding you a freak because you're gay ...
... at the end of the day it IS up to us to be able to square up to ourselves as much as anybody else and say (and believe it when we say it) that there is nothing AT all wrong with being gay ... HOWEVER, that being said, when you're the only gay in the village, it can be a bit oppressive sometimes to FIND that courage ... that backbone if you will ... and so, whilst I think it's really saddening that people feel better concealing what is at the end of the day just another simple truth about themselves, I do sympathise with the reasoning behind it in many instances ...
Added to which, being gay is something that can quite easily be concealed when that fight or flight sensation kicks in ...
It's something we perhaps just need to condition ourselves to resist, and to be as open with those people asking the question as they invite us to be by virtue of their asking the question in the first place !!
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
I agree 100% with Michael that it's not necessarily a bad thing that we're asked - however in more cases than not I have witnessed people lying about having a boyfriend by fudging the gender issue - I know, I've done it many times in the past myself ... for the exact reasons you've outlined which is basically that you don't want to have people looking down their nose at you, or branding you a freak because you're gay ...
... at the end of the day it IS up to us to be able to square up to ourselves as much as anybody else and say (and believe it when we say it) that there is nothing AT all wrong with being gay ... HOWEVER, that being said, when you're the only gay in the village, it can be a bit oppressive sometimes to FIND that courage ... that backbone if you will ... and so, whilst I think it's really saddening that people feel better concealing what is at the end of the day just another simple truth about themselves, I do sympathise with the reasoning behind it in many instances ...
Added to which, being gay is something that can quite easily be concealed when that fight or flight sensation kicks in ...
It's something we perhaps just need to condition ourselves to resist, and to be as open with those people asking the question as they invite us to be by virtue of their asking the question in the first place !!
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
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