11-08-2007, 01:10 AM
True,
It also seems much easier to do once you have a significant other. What we won't stick up for ourselves we tend to jump in and do for someone we love. Also, the longer you are out the more exhausting it becomes to try and thread the needle all the time..or walk that line by fudging gender or just misunderstanding the question.
But it also becomes easier the more often you are truthfull. Working in Germany and being asked the question almost every day why I was there just finaly numbed me to anyones reaction. And thruth be told, 99% of the time I got a good reaction or (just as well) no reaction.
The thing with being on the defensive is that bullies and racists and their ilk look for weakness. Whatever the issue, if you look unsure and timid and in the wrong, a bully will always take advantage of that. Being honest and forthright takes away their power to push you around and belittle you. Their are exceptions, but for the most part that holds true.
Make it no big deal and most people will follow your lead. Like anything, with practice it becomes easier. So since the numbers mean we will always be on the other end, the sooner we sart practicing the easier it becomes.
It also seems much easier to do once you have a significant other. What we won't stick up for ourselves we tend to jump in and do for someone we love. Also, the longer you are out the more exhausting it becomes to try and thread the needle all the time..or walk that line by fudging gender or just misunderstanding the question.
But it also becomes easier the more often you are truthfull. Working in Germany and being asked the question almost every day why I was there just finaly numbed me to anyones reaction. And thruth be told, 99% of the time I got a good reaction or (just as well) no reaction.
The thing with being on the defensive is that bullies and racists and their ilk look for weakness. Whatever the issue, if you look unsure and timid and in the wrong, a bully will always take advantage of that. Being honest and forthright takes away their power to push you around and belittle you. Their are exceptions, but for the most part that holds true.
Make it no big deal and most people will follow your lead. Like anything, with practice it becomes easier. So since the numbers mean we will always be on the other end, the sooner we sart practicing the easier it becomes.
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