08-19-2012, 01:29 AM
Not really, and I'm very happy with a bi right now.
But there are men & women who marry for reasons other than attraction. Perhaps it's to fulfill society (or at least family) expectations, perhaps it's for money, perhaps it was even a mix of platonic love & pity and/or a belief that marriage & a baby would make him/her straight. And they're not willing to give that up so they have relationships on the side so that love, sex, and marriage all become compartmentalized (which was normal back when arranged marriages were still common).
As a result I have heard of such women who married for money and/or expectations who kept women on the side while remaining in the closet which could lead to very cruel treatment to the woman's lesbian lover, especially if the woman on the side developed true affection for her. And like with men it can even lead a few women who simply seek just enough sex with women (without a real relationship) just to keep from sexually combusting while remaining in her Christian-approved and financially comfortable marriage. I met a couple like that back when I was 19-21 and because I was thought of as a "boi" such women (who tended to be older) found me nonthreatening and also believed me capable of giving them what they needed without having to worry about my feelings. As I was experimental in those days and valued my freedom this worked. Though interesting enough many of them (and I hear this is common for such women) are pillow princesses which can also create a lot of drama (especially after they leave and never come back). But I'd never put up with that now and I can understand why some lesbians hate women like that.
Oh! There was one woman who infuriated me. I briefly enjoyed a time at a sex club that allowed me to experiment with others and allowed bisexuality (though female bisexuality was far more common, not sure why) and an older woman came onto me and she knew what she was doing. Then she called her husband over and basically dumped me on him. I found out later that she did that a lot and was probably going to get kicked out for it. 'Course she was probably asexual.
Though just to be clear, I'm completely ok with bisexuals and I believe many bisexuals are made to pay for the unethical behavior of others...and I also believe many of the women I just described (and their male counterparts) that give bisexuals a bad name are actually gay instead of bi in an unfulfilled relationship they're not willing to abandon (at least not until the kids are grown or grandma is dead or they get that promotion, whatever).
There's also the fear that as society makes it so much easier for heterosexuals to marry that a bisexual will inevitably dump you for a heterosexual relationship. I can understand this fear, though love often isn't rational (and all too often it's insane!) so I think the fear is overrated. And my current bi partner had never been in a serious lesbian relationship before me (just 3 flings, the last in college before she married) and she says now she's so sick of men that sometimes I feel like a little of the reason she keeps me around is as a "to hell with men" statement (I laugh about it but it's kinda disturbing, too, and I'm sure that if there's any truth to it that it's like "5% of the reason").
Now for something I think is cool. Flesbians ("flesbian"="fake lesbian") really annoy most lesbians, even the flesbians who do it for entertainment (a few even criticized The L Word for not using lesbian actresses, though most just made the cast, including one of the guys, "honorary lesbians"
), and one lesbian responded to Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl (and she's not all the popular with gay men for her song, "Ur So Gay" either) with this (not the official video):
But there are men & women who marry for reasons other than attraction. Perhaps it's to fulfill society (or at least family) expectations, perhaps it's for money, perhaps it was even a mix of platonic love & pity and/or a belief that marriage & a baby would make him/her straight. And they're not willing to give that up so they have relationships on the side so that love, sex, and marriage all become compartmentalized (which was normal back when arranged marriages were still common).
As a result I have heard of such women who married for money and/or expectations who kept women on the side while remaining in the closet which could lead to very cruel treatment to the woman's lesbian lover, especially if the woman on the side developed true affection for her. And like with men it can even lead a few women who simply seek just enough sex with women (without a real relationship) just to keep from sexually combusting while remaining in her Christian-approved and financially comfortable marriage. I met a couple like that back when I was 19-21 and because I was thought of as a "boi" such women (who tended to be older) found me nonthreatening and also believed me capable of giving them what they needed without having to worry about my feelings. As I was experimental in those days and valued my freedom this worked. Though interesting enough many of them (and I hear this is common for such women) are pillow princesses which can also create a lot of drama (especially after they leave and never come back). But I'd never put up with that now and I can understand why some lesbians hate women like that.
Oh! There was one woman who infuriated me. I briefly enjoyed a time at a sex club that allowed me to experiment with others and allowed bisexuality (though female bisexuality was far more common, not sure why) and an older woman came onto me and she knew what she was doing. Then she called her husband over and basically dumped me on him. I found out later that she did that a lot and was probably going to get kicked out for it. 'Course she was probably asexual.
Though just to be clear, I'm completely ok with bisexuals and I believe many bisexuals are made to pay for the unethical behavior of others...and I also believe many of the women I just described (and their male counterparts) that give bisexuals a bad name are actually gay instead of bi in an unfulfilled relationship they're not willing to abandon (at least not until the kids are grown or grandma is dead or they get that promotion, whatever).
There's also the fear that as society makes it so much easier for heterosexuals to marry that a bisexual will inevitably dump you for a heterosexual relationship. I can understand this fear, though love often isn't rational (and all too often it's insane!) so I think the fear is overrated. And my current bi partner had never been in a serious lesbian relationship before me (just 3 flings, the last in college before she married) and she says now she's so sick of men that sometimes I feel like a little of the reason she keeps me around is as a "to hell with men" statement (I laugh about it but it's kinda disturbing, too, and I'm sure that if there's any truth to it that it's like "5% of the reason").
Now for something I think is cool. Flesbians ("flesbian"="fake lesbian") really annoy most lesbians, even the flesbians who do it for entertainment (a few even criticized The L Word for not using lesbian actresses, though most just made the cast, including one of the guys, "honorary lesbians"
), and one lesbian responded to Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl (and she's not all the popular with gay men for her song, "Ur So Gay" either) with this (not the official video):
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
