08-22-2012, 04:05 PM
Though I am versatile, that is for non BDSM partners, or if I choose to top from the bottom in BDSM play. When it comes to BDSM I am a Dom and have been a master in one relationship. You sound like you want to be a sub. (submissive) and that's great. There are Doms that will gladly train you BUT, there are also so called Doms that use it as a power play.
Rule one, you need the Dom and you to at least sign a copy of the creed, preferably a full contract. No it isn't legally binding but, it sets both of your rights and responsibilities in writing for such relationships, which can be and often are loving, fulfilling, enjoyable relationships for both. By it's nature BDSM opens the door to potential abuse a lot wider. Some of what we do could be considered abuse if it were done in a vanilla (non BDSM) relationship and, that is why the creed and contract are important.
You also need to get specific as far as what you are definitely okay doing, what you have not done but want to do, what you will do but are not entirely comfortable doing and, what you will not do at all.
As for this man, talk to him, perhaps he doesn't want to be a Dom or doesn't want to train a new sub, or just doesn't like subs that talk and try to set the pace. I'm like that when I Dom, my sub will not make suggestions or even hint as to when I should do what, that's my decision unless I specifically tell them to show or tell me what they want.
Here are some links that might help you:
Dominant information and Creed: http://www.submissiveloving.com/maledom.html
Submissive's Creed: http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/library/ar...creed.html
Examples of BDSM Contracts: http://www.bdsmcircle.net/dslifestyle/contracts.htm
Rule one, you need the Dom and you to at least sign a copy of the creed, preferably a full contract. No it isn't legally binding but, it sets both of your rights and responsibilities in writing for such relationships, which can be and often are loving, fulfilling, enjoyable relationships for both. By it's nature BDSM opens the door to potential abuse a lot wider. Some of what we do could be considered abuse if it were done in a vanilla (non BDSM) relationship and, that is why the creed and contract are important.
You also need to get specific as far as what you are definitely okay doing, what you have not done but want to do, what you will do but are not entirely comfortable doing and, what you will not do at all.
As for this man, talk to him, perhaps he doesn't want to be a Dom or doesn't want to train a new sub, or just doesn't like subs that talk and try to set the pace. I'm like that when I Dom, my sub will not make suggestions or even hint as to when I should do what, that's my decision unless I specifically tell them to show or tell me what they want.
Here are some links that might help you:
Dominant information and Creed: http://www.submissiveloving.com/maledom.html
Submissive's Creed: http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/library/ar...creed.html
Examples of BDSM Contracts: http://www.bdsmcircle.net/dslifestyle/contracts.htm
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