Terminology & Symbol Primer?

[Pix]

Speaking of butch... I recently heard "soft butch." Would this be a woman who is more of a tomboy, but likes a few girlie things here and there? For example, a girl who loves to play hockey (I did!) but might have a couple gypsy skirts she doesn't mind wearing (exactly two, floor length). And maybe hates makeup but doesn't mind feeling pretty once in a while?

Yes, that's close enough to being a soft butch, but allows for a wide latitude. Some soft butches wouldn't be thought of as masculine at all (though they very likely have short hair, like a guy). Example of a soft butch:




Many years ago I was very tomboyish in looks, demeanor, and activities and I was called a boi (that's spelled correctly). A lesbian boi is called a "her" not a "him," btw. At the time I wasn't called a soft butch (though I was called a "baby dyke," though my impression was I got called that for being new, not because I was a boi). I've heard that some bois are kinda like high school boys (down to casual sex, sometimes only interested in casual sex and moving on, and even adopting their own "bros before hos code"), but I'm glad to say that stereotype didn't fit me. At the time I frequently got carded even to get into an R-rated movie (even as I approached my 23rd birthday) because many thought I was a teen (and I suspect a few may have even wondered about my actual gender).

Then I hooked up with a "stud," or a masculine woman, though not as masculine as a hard butch, but more so than a soft butch (there's also hard and soft studs as well). Whereas most seem to think of a white woman when they think of a butch, most think of a woman of color (typically black) when they think of a stud, and while it seems to me that many studs are there's certainly no racial requirements for it (any more than there is for being a butch). Here's an example of a stud:

EDIT: sorry, the vid is private now and I don't have time to find another. :frown:

Note that one YT lesbian defines studs as "between butch and femme" (which I don't, and think she's actually describing a "soft butch" rather than a stud) which goes to show the definitions can change when you move (possibly even to a different clique). Also, my stud was very versatile sexually (as is frequently the case), and one who doesn't liked to be touched as a female tend to be cold "stone" or "cold" (or even both).

And that reminds me of the term "pillow princess" and "pillow queens," which are lesbians (and many bi women) who want to be pleased sexually but don't return the favor. (There are many distinctions, but the terms are too vague in my memory right now to give a clear example.) I personally think "queen" refers to an older woman and "princess" to a younger, but I'm not certain that's the case.

Sorry, but I have to go now. Remind me in a couple of days to continue this if I don't post again.

But one more thing before I go, that U-Haul vid refers to UHS, or U-Haul Syndrome, and means to move in together all too soon, which in some ways is great, but not without its risks and inconveniences (especially if the relationship doesn't last more than a few months or even weeks as many won't), and when my stud girlfriend moved in with me almost instantly after we became lovers we were said to have "U-Hauled."

And she made me femme, though on my journey I was called a soft butch...not enough time, sorry!

Ok, gotta go!