Telling my Girlfriend, Is it Good Time?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

So for the past two years, you as a gay man have been in a relationship with a woman? Did I get that straight? You have been lying to her all this time?

Right now you two are in different colleges and pretty much on different life paths. There are other reasons to 'break up' other than your being, you know, gay.

I say why stop lying now... Yeah sure that doesn't give you a good way to leave the relationship, however there are other things going on, distance, time apart, different life goals.

While I'm usually the first one that says 'tell the truth'. I think in this case is to let her go for other reasons (We are too distant, I find my love for you has grown cold - my life plans are going down a separate path).

I think this will be easier for her this way. To believe that the past two years were not a total 'waste' on someone who couldn't love her back and used her to keep this straight front.

With this 'white lie' she can at least coming through this with some fond memories and the belief that what she had was totally honest for as long as it lasted.

Your announcing 'I'm gay, lets break up.' Will sound like 'Guess what woman, you were such a bad relationship you turned me gay!'

Yes I know, that isn't what happened - but her mind will play strange games with her, and she will never have any real 'proof' that she didn't do it to you.

One of the top questions women ask when their husband/partner comes out is what did they do to make him that way.

Since there is already distance between you too, I think that breaking up over that distance and over the different paths your lives are talking, is going to be easier for her to accept at face value and move on 'whole' than your coming out this way.

Yes later 2-10 years down the road you two will meet again, and you can tell her then that you discovered after her that you liked men. This keeps her confidence in herself as a woman, and also gives her a boost to think that you were the best (if only) woman you ever had.

Again, I normally stress truth, so lets not let this lying thing become a habit. This is more of a 'white' or comforting lie for her sake.