09-17-2012, 05:03 PM
In my opinion, neglect of a child/pet or a responsibility is not something I personally agree with or condone, but in some instances, there are actually valid reasons for why neglect may occur.
My mother had me at 14, a time in everyone's lives where you're just starting to understand yourself and going from that questioning child, to a young adult, making mistakes along the way and discovering your path and purpose in life and in my mother's instance, she never got that chance because she had me.
She didn't know any better, and though she never neglected me per se, she could easily have, because most 14 year olds are worrying about forming friendships and working on homework and not caring for their child.
So I can honestly understand if a young mother and perhaps father[though less so], would feel resentful or disinterest towards their own child, only because they never got the chance to experience life and what fun opportunities they could've had and be a child themselves.
Luckily my mother is very strong and had lots of help from her mother[my nana], so she didn't develop a disassociation with me, but I can see she could've easily.
So sometimes there are valid reasons that people wouldn't understand because they aren't in the situation or can not see the proverbial "light" of the situation.
And again, I don't condone neglecting a child, but sometimes there can be valid, and most often psychological reasons.
Such as;
> Raped and the child is forced on the mother, leading to resentment of the rapist & the child that represents the act.
>Young parent who never got to experience childhood and resents the child as the reason for them not being a child.
>Young father forced into raising a child wether alone or with his partner, due to him not using protection/being careful and feeling resentful at having his "bachelor" lifestyle stolen.
And it's usually when a child is born to a young parent, because as we know, when we are young, we may be able to be sexually mature, but not necessarily mentally mature, especially in regards to raising a child, when they are only children themselves. So you can see where resentment and dis-attachement could occur, because they weren't allowed to be kids and grow up.
It's sad anyway you look at it, but I don't believe we should always immediately condemn someone without atleast being able to see both sides of the coin. I still don't think it's right, but I can see why.
My mother had me at 14, a time in everyone's lives where you're just starting to understand yourself and going from that questioning child, to a young adult, making mistakes along the way and discovering your path and purpose in life and in my mother's instance, she never got that chance because she had me.
She didn't know any better, and though she never neglected me per se, she could easily have, because most 14 year olds are worrying about forming friendships and working on homework and not caring for their child.
So I can honestly understand if a young mother and perhaps father[though less so], would feel resentful or disinterest towards their own child, only because they never got the chance to experience life and what fun opportunities they could've had and be a child themselves.
Luckily my mother is very strong and had lots of help from her mother[my nana], so she didn't develop a disassociation with me, but I can see she could've easily.
So sometimes there are valid reasons that people wouldn't understand because they aren't in the situation or can not see the proverbial "light" of the situation.
And again, I don't condone neglecting a child, but sometimes there can be valid, and most often psychological reasons.
Such as;
> Raped and the child is forced on the mother, leading to resentment of the rapist & the child that represents the act.
>Young parent who never got to experience childhood and resents the child as the reason for them not being a child.
>Young father forced into raising a child wether alone or with his partner, due to him not using protection/being careful and feeling resentful at having his "bachelor" lifestyle stolen.
And it's usually when a child is born to a young parent, because as we know, when we are young, we may be able to be sexually mature, but not necessarily mentally mature, especially in regards to raising a child, when they are only children themselves. So you can see where resentment and dis-attachement could occur, because they weren't allowed to be kids and grow up.
It's sad anyway you look at it, but I don't believe we should always immediately condemn someone without atleast being able to see both sides of the coin. I still don't think it's right, but I can see why.
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