09-18-2012, 03:30 PM
Since you've been dating for a year now, you should expect the type of communications to change. The "i miss you's" and such will come and go - depending on your boyfriend's work/school pressures.
That said, when he got out of bed and said he was going home because he was feeling "uncomfortable" is a big red flag for me. Why, after a year of dating, intimacy, and sharing a bed together, would he get up, get dressed and leave?
Something's going on with him. I'm sure you've already thought of the reasons: he's fallen out of love with you, he's found someone else, if he's not out, he's getting worried about being "caught" with you, if he's bisexual, he might be struggling with his identity (ie: i'm ok with being bi, not gay, but he loves you and it's causing him stress) or, the worse one - he's cheated on you with someone - and that includes sex.
So, as other's have said, you need to talk with him face-to-face. And, you need to ask him direct questions, something like this: "<his name>, i need to tell you that the last few times we've been togehter, you've made me feel like something's going on with you. While i know you're dealing with <work/family/school, etc> issues, that's never stopped you from talking with me, and showing me your love...and the last time we were together, you got out of bed and left - and that really, really hurt me - mostly because you couldn't tell me why, other than you felt uncomfortable. So i am going to ask you straight out, and please be honest with me: Have you cheated on me?" If he says yes, then you ahve to decide how you will respond.
If he says NO, go down the list of questions.
My gut is, he'll say yes to one of the questions you ask. If he refuses to talk or answer any questions, then i would say, "I love you but love requires 100% trust and if you can't talk with me or answer simple questions, then perhaps we should spend some time apart to sort things out." Or you can just break it off 100%. But you need closure!
That said, when he got out of bed and said he was going home because he was feeling "uncomfortable" is a big red flag for me. Why, after a year of dating, intimacy, and sharing a bed together, would he get up, get dressed and leave?
Something's going on with him. I'm sure you've already thought of the reasons: he's fallen out of love with you, he's found someone else, if he's not out, he's getting worried about being "caught" with you, if he's bisexual, he might be struggling with his identity (ie: i'm ok with being bi, not gay, but he loves you and it's causing him stress) or, the worse one - he's cheated on you with someone - and that includes sex.
So, as other's have said, you need to talk with him face-to-face. And, you need to ask him direct questions, something like this: "<his name>, i need to tell you that the last few times we've been togehter, you've made me feel like something's going on with you. While i know you're dealing with <work/family/school, etc> issues, that's never stopped you from talking with me, and showing me your love...and the last time we were together, you got out of bed and left - and that really, really hurt me - mostly because you couldn't tell me why, other than you felt uncomfortable. So i am going to ask you straight out, and please be honest with me: Have you cheated on me?" If he says yes, then you ahve to decide how you will respond.
If he says NO, go down the list of questions.
My gut is, he'll say yes to one of the questions you ask. If he refuses to talk or answer any questions, then i would say, "I love you but love requires 100% trust and if you can't talk with me or answer simple questions, then perhaps we should spend some time apart to sort things out." Or you can just break it off 100%. But you need closure!
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