Am I Gay? I think I am... UGH

[pellaz]

first off and most important, welcome to GaySpeak. I hope you get your issues re solved and stay to help others.

Hi ... I don't Identify with the feminine side of homosexuality(For those that do, good for you, but I don't) I'd identify with the masculine identity of homosexuality. And I'd seek someone out a guy that identifies with the same. ...

good for you; almost always you will fail if you try to define your self using pre conceived definitions. along those lines:
-evaluate your self if your not internally homophobic and that is driving your preference for a masculine identity.
-masculine or feminine is all a fake identity. We all work in a cube typing junk on a networked computer in a large office building for a corporation who stresses team work. When was the last day you had a 2,500 calorie day chopping wood. not.
-most straight relationships (they comprise 95% of the population) are based on differences. How to say your gay relationship needs or must have a relationship based on similarities, instead look at what you bring to the table and how someone else can better complete the situation so the two of you add up to more than just 2.

Hi ... And while shaking massively, I told her ...

everyone it telling you to think things through take it slower. just thought i would re iterate their thinking.

Hi ... My family for years has been trying to do whatever they can to hurt my mom... it is messed up. I've helped her through it, but the thing is, I don;t think she can take another one like that. See if I am gay and I come out, my family will attack her and tell her how bad of a parent she is, and how my cousins are better, and that she is a loser and on and on.... she is better off than anyone in my family... but they will say that anyway, and she can't take it, that your own family could hate you so badly. She has to deal with this, and she is a great person, has a great job a degree in nursing, 2 kids, (I'm the youngest) and so forth. Right now she is making about 7 grand a month off a associates degree in nursing(2 years of schooling) I am ok with being ridiculed more or less, but I cannot take her being told she is a loser and so forth, because of my decision. She is going to be forced by my family to be the cause of me being gay ...

you know this is bull shit. If she is financially independent and her children are grown up why does she have anything to do with haters. She should express her self love and bail. Its not a family she is living in but rather an un healthy cult.

Hi ... He as I said, has a BF. His BF was there but I did not care, I told him I have feelings for him ...

this is bad in so many ways. Please consider apologizing to both guys and going about your own life. snooze you loose, you lost out by not being on top of your feelings. If you divide this couple you will have nothing in the end. Instead let them have each other, wait for the break up. Make your move than.

Hi ... everything I do is my mom's fault ... See f I come out, if I am gay, the one who is going to go through more hell is my mom ...

again its your mother's fault for permitting her self and her children to associate in a hate full situation. She has the ability to break out of this.
-you are gay, your not going to change. Your mother did not make you gay 5% of the worlds population is gay. You and the 5% are not going away.
-if your mother can help you emotionally please let her.
-food for thought: everyone has a belief system. Some people are homophobic and un sure about their sexuality. They are lazy and or un able to figure how things work around them so they look for a straight narrow guide so they can cope. Thus you have Christianity.