were you spanked as a kids?

[Pix]

I Know many adults who are generation ME. Older than 50 that is. Why do you blame everything on kids specifically? Don't kids follow the examples of their elders.? If their elders are drug addicts or Me, myself, and I, How do you expect better children? Think about it.

I am not passing any judgement here. And I am sorry if you feel that way. But why are people blaming everything on kids. As if we adults, have nothing to do with this chaotic society we have created?

That's been my observation. For example, if parents have poor impulse control and cuss a lot then so do their kids...no matter how much they discipline them for it (at most such parents can change their behavior while in their presence only). But parents who are considerate and mature tend to have kids who act the same way. Of course exceptions exist both ways, but generally speaking a parental example has far more affect than if one chooses to use corporal punishment or not (by this I mean that only causes discomfort and not risk real injury as most spankings & whippings qualify as, and likewise isn't someone who reaches for the belt just because s/he was having a bad day and wants to take it out on someone in their power which is more bullying than discipline, and if it strays from these parameters then I consider it abuse that is damaging to a child's development, though even so the example is still the strongest, so an alcoholic who whips his son for underage drinking is still likely to have an alcoholic son, for example).

I know as I was growing up I didn't respect either scare tactics or "do as I say, not as I do." When my parents punished (and sometimes abused) me they almost always did it with poor impulse control and judgment and I didn't see the problem with me but them, and their violent means did not make me "respect" them, it just made me avoid them (which probably suited them just fine, all things considered).

However, Granny was always as fair as she could be and she never hit me out of anger, and the consequences were always the same (that is, didn't depend on her mood but rather my actions) and I usually got a warning before a spanking. And her I did respect, and I can count the times on one hand that she used corporal punishment on me because I WANTED to please her, and disappointing her was an even worse punishment than a belt.

My cousin (who also spent a lot of time living with Granny as I did) is the same way. He didn't respect hypocrites and people who just lashed out at him, he held such adults in contempt (and took pride in being tough enough to take what they dished out, though of course his defiance sometimes extended to escaping punishment until tempers cooled), but he respected Granny...and though he smart mouthed a lot of adults who whipped & paddled him for it, he'd angrily stand up for Granny to any who badmouthed her (and gotten disciplined for his lack of respect, too). But he was ornery, and I saw Granny use a belt on him a lot. Granny told me she knew he was going to be a difficult child when she saw him as a toddler run into a wall, he bounced off, shriek in rage, got up, and ran into the wall again even harder.