01-16-2014, 06:31 PM
The majority of people who ask you questions are seeking simple, short answers. This process called 'small talk' is not about passing important data back and forth, it is a complex social insanity where individuals say something to fill the silences.
Most (not all) chatty people are terrified of meaningful silences, they cannot bear to endure the long seconds when no one is talking, thus they ask questions expecting simple answers and feel good about themselves because they showed 'human interest' in you when in fact they just can't stand the quiet.
The majority of conversation between strangers is forgotten as soon as the stranger leaves the room. There is this social pressure to pretend to actually care about a person and ask them pointless, meaningless things such as inquiring about their health - its not that you actually care about their dental arraignments (as one person pointed out) its about pretending to take an interest because its supposed to make a person feel better.
I gave you a Google search for Small Talk: https://www.google.com/#q=small+talk+is+pointless I strongly suggest you read the comments of others, check out a few sites and see what they say.
Unfortunately small talk is not one of those skills I have even attempted to master. So I cannot give you any real suggestions to blend in and modify your replies to fit 'small talk' type conversations. I personally don't bother to conform, and prefer to blast people with real communication, or make them suffer long meaningful silences.
Understand, it is not you - it is them.
Most (not all) chatty people are terrified of meaningful silences, they cannot bear to endure the long seconds when no one is talking, thus they ask questions expecting simple answers and feel good about themselves because they showed 'human interest' in you when in fact they just can't stand the quiet.
The majority of conversation between strangers is forgotten as soon as the stranger leaves the room. There is this social pressure to pretend to actually care about a person and ask them pointless, meaningless things such as inquiring about their health - its not that you actually care about their dental arraignments (as one person pointed out) its about pretending to take an interest because its supposed to make a person feel better.
I gave you a Google search for Small Talk: https://www.google.com/#q=small+talk+is+pointless I strongly suggest you read the comments of others, check out a few sites and see what they say.
Unfortunately small talk is not one of those skills I have even attempted to master. So I cannot give you any real suggestions to blend in and modify your replies to fit 'small talk' type conversations. I personally don't bother to conform, and prefer to blast people with real communication, or make them suffer long meaningful silences.
Understand, it is not you - it is them.
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