i don't know what to do

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I know this is irrational but I had a bad experience with a therapist once. I am having trouble trusting them. One who I opened up to had told me something, just right after I came out I didn't realize he was with ministry. He insisted that it was all in my head and that my sexuality was purly choice.

I want to see a therapist but I have difficulty. How do I know they aren't going to be like this? Is there any way to tell?

Understand that the AMA and the APA (American Medical Association and American Psychological Association) have both deemed homosexuality to fall within nominal parameters of human sexual expression. That means that the majority of psychologists out there who are NOT through a church organization are most likely going to keep their own private opinion about homosexuality to themselves.

Look, this isn't like going to a mechanic with a car and dropping the car of and being confident when you return the car is fixed. Having a therapist that actually works is more like dating and finding a therapist that you can have a decent relationship with.

As such, I strongly recommend you sit down and right up at least 3 questions you will ask them for the initial interview.

1. Do you side with the APA on its stance of homosexuality?
2. Are you a hypnotherapist?
3. __________________ (you fill this blank)
4. ?
5. ?

You can have more than 3 questions.

Why hypnotherapist? I want for you to steer clear of those at this time. I dislike hypnotherapy as a medical treatment because of all the side issues I have heard about. Way to often things like 'recovered memories' has happened and that has turned around and ruined lives. You do not need a hypnotherapist - at least not at this time.

As long as you don't ask overly personal questions a therapist will be as open and honest to you about who and what they are. Curious if they are married and have kids? You can ask and they will say yes or no depending. Start asking the ages and what schools those kids go to and if hubby travels often for work you will have a serious legal problem on your hands....:eek:

You can ask if what their stance is on LGBT, or things that might affect you - such as if you are a survivor of ritual abuse, you can ask them point blank what their stance is on that (some actually think its all in the head or something).

You want to try to find a therapist that you can have a working relationship with. So you are going to want to be as comfortable with them as possible. That means knowing some of the basics about them, if you all share a common frame of reference and are not going to be at odds at what your goals are to achieve in therapy.

If you are seeking assistance to deal with your own orientation, the last thing you need is to go to a therapist who seeks to 'cure' you of your homosexuality.