I know what I am gonna have to do

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I seriously doubt you are the failure you think you are. That is most likely the depression talking and not really you.

I am usually loath to make this suggestion to anyone because so often the person starts on this 'self improvement' kick then they get all full of themselves and do wild and crazy things like turn to using drugs to manage weight, using steroids and other 'supplements' to build muscle mass.

You seem to believe that more people will like you or love you if you change yourself. I disagree on that, and firmly believe someone is out there who will love and like you just the way you are.

However, since this self image thing is one of those few places you really can take control and actually affect change, I'm going to suggest that you start doing something along the lines of changing your life style to improve your body image/self image.

I think that with depression being able to find something we can control in our life empowers us to fight back at depression and in doing so win in many ways over it.

I will stress this now: I'm not by any means suggesting you go all drastic and seek to get down to twink size, or go crazy at a gym and seek to be the next man who blows out his biceps. There are many minor adjustments to diet, and adding more exercise to ones life to improve overall fitness.

Little things may actually amount to a huge over all change in your outlook about your life. It is merely a suggestion and I can't guarantee a mood change along with it.

And I have said before, and I'm saying it again, you need professional help. I would rather you see the advice and help of a therapist, one who can help you to deal with 'this stuff' and who can give you a more professional, medical opinion on such things as if you need medication to go with therapy to deal with depression.