Capricorn
06-22-2014, 04:59 PM
Haven't visited this thread in a while…
Sometimes I don't know what is on my mind. Sometimes there isn't anything much, really. The sun is up over the hill now and the fog is (much more slowly than usual) burning off. It's continued presence even at this late hour gives the air a kind of golden, almost mystical glow. It's Sunday morning day after Solstice and still fairly quiet. The college kids all around me were partying last night--whether due to the Solstice or just because it was a Saturday or both, I don't know. It wasn't a bother. I fall asleep easily; sometimes with my lap top on a pillow on my lap in the bed! :eek: I mean, how sad is that! And falling asleep is very strange, have you ever noticed? How one second you're doing something, reading, watching a movie, and somehow something sets of a very rapid chain reaction that sort of separates the various brain functions that keeps one cognizant. Think about it, it's very odd! One moment we're (more or less) aware of being 'here now' doing this or that and the next "we" (whatever 'we' are) are just 'gone'. BUT, the sensory stimulation is still occurring, the brain is still active but now in a completely different way… dreaming perhaps, some part of the mind off on some journey or tangent. At the point where I come back (it can be seconds or hours) I'm a bit shocked to discover that I drifted; much as you probably are if you're reading this shaggy dog post
It's just something I find very interesting, trying to 'detect' that moment when the 'disconnect' happens. I've followed it far enough that I know it is quite mechanical and apparently chemical. For example, yesterday at work I was searching for a file on my bosses computer… one we know must exist but we have no idea where we saved it or what it was named… a PhotoShop image file that would be quite obvious if we were to see it. So I'm searching all PhotoShop files on her computer by rapidly scanning through the 1000s of files in cover-flow view. I'm holding my finger down on the 'down arrow' key to rapidly scroll through them and *repeatedly* I fall asleep with my finger still pressing the key and *miss* several before coming back to myself, realizing what I've done! Annoyed with myself, I scroll back to make sure I didn't miss it and insist that I *not* fall asleep again. But, again, within a matter of seconds, I'm *gone*! How very weird, and yet interesting (to me anyway, obviously) this is. It is something I've been trying to observe in myself (not all the time but from time to time) since I was a child: That moment where you're awake and then instantly you're not. So, I haven't anything on my mind at all except all the peculiarities that make up my awareness of a moment, such as this, just sitting here on my balcony, drinking my habitual morning coffee, allowing my fingers to type out whatever thought passes through me, inflicting my stream of thought on all you poor souls. :evil grin: Really nothing at all, tl;dr & etc.
Sometimes I don't know what is on my mind. Sometimes there isn't anything much, really. The sun is up over the hill now and the fog is (much more slowly than usual) burning off. It's continued presence even at this late hour gives the air a kind of golden, almost mystical glow. It's Sunday morning day after Solstice and still fairly quiet. The college kids all around me were partying last night--whether due to the Solstice or just because it was a Saturday or both, I don't know. It wasn't a bother. I fall asleep easily; sometimes with my lap top on a pillow on my lap in the bed! :eek: I mean, how sad is that! And falling asleep is very strange, have you ever noticed? How one second you're doing something, reading, watching a movie, and somehow something sets of a very rapid chain reaction that sort of separates the various brain functions that keeps one cognizant. Think about it, it's very odd! One moment we're (more or less) aware of being 'here now' doing this or that and the next "we" (whatever 'we' are) are just 'gone'. BUT, the sensory stimulation is still occurring, the brain is still active but now in a completely different way… dreaming perhaps, some part of the mind off on some journey or tangent. At the point where I come back (it can be seconds or hours) I'm a bit shocked to discover that I drifted; much as you probably are if you're reading this shaggy dog post
It's just something I find very interesting, trying to 'detect' that moment when the 'disconnect' happens. I've followed it far enough that I know it is quite mechanical and apparently chemical. For example, yesterday at work I was searching for a file on my bosses computer… one we know must exist but we have no idea where we saved it or what it was named… a PhotoShop image file that would be quite obvious if we were to see it. So I'm searching all PhotoShop files on her computer by rapidly scanning through the 1000s of files in cover-flow view. I'm holding my finger down on the 'down arrow' key to rapidly scroll through them and *repeatedly* I fall asleep with my finger still pressing the key and *miss* several before coming back to myself, realizing what I've done! Annoyed with myself, I scroll back to make sure I didn't miss it and insist that I *not* fall asleep again. But, again, within a matter of seconds, I'm *gone*! How very weird, and yet interesting (to me anyway, obviously) this is. It is something I've been trying to observe in myself (not all the time but from time to time) since I was a child: That moment where you're awake and then instantly you're not. So, I haven't anything on my mind at all except all the peculiarities that make up my awareness of a moment, such as this, just sitting here on my balcony, drinking my habitual morning coffee, allowing my fingers to type out whatever thought passes through me, inflicting my stream of thought on all you poor souls. :evil grin: Really nothing at all, tl;dr & etc.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
