What's on Your Mind

[starlight]

Well keep your chin up, Nick, alias [MENTION=22564]VirgoMasquerade[/MENTION], and talk to us. We can listen until the cows come home. As long as [MENTION=21156]Anocxu[/MENTION] and I are around you are even likely to get a wiseass reply.

Same for you [MENTION=23118]starlight[/MENTION]. Tell us all about it.

Its pointless me talking about it as nothing changes, i try and fail every time, i try again and fail again. Im getting really fed up and i hate my sexuality i really hate it, i hate people and no accepting wont make me any happier, i am very repressed in all ways and cannot break through, i am a total waste of oxygen and waste of space i am pointless. Im 26 now and my life is as empty as it as always been, i have no close interactions, and the fact i have never been truly close with anyone hurts me so much, i mean the thought of another human holding or touching me is a total fantasy and who the fuck would touch me and i fear it due to the same reason. Im a total mess and cant be fixed, who cares anyway its just pointless, i hate life and im not enjoying it at all and nothing will even get close to opening me up and helping or healing me. I saw a teacher from college 10 years ago last night and she knew then i had issues and a year or so ago i saw her and told her and when i saw her last night she said it will happen it will and i dont believe it because it wont, i will never get that bf/gf i desire because of my shitty messed up sexuality and my shitty messed up head, people avoid me even when they have only seen my good mood, i am an embarresment and people have always told me that, its true about bpd you need validation because you have never had it in life and its always been taken from you but nothing will help now its all fucked up. I am so lonely and tired of life