What's on Your Mind

[Jay]

@Jay Yeah I think you were right to break it off with that guy. I think it has a lot to do with how ghosting happens...and there was a thread about it a while back (and there were a lot of opinions). To me there is a difference between dropping off the face of the Earth when things appear to be going well versus breaking it off with someone because they're an insensitive prick.

@InbetweenDreams I'm going to dig around and look for that thread.

I've just remembered I had another one. I met this guy via Coffee and Bagel online app.

Had a chat with him online. Seems really nice. We agreed to meet up for lunch. I told him it would be my treat. While waiting for that lunch 'date' to arrive, we continued out chat online. I told him that I love to bake and just disposed my old oven. He then asked if I can hand over the old oven to him instead of disposing it. He also asked if I can give him anything else that I'm planning to dispose. The guy just got back from UK. He's a professor and just rented an apartment.

Honestly, I didn't know how to react. I don't think it would be a big deal if I know him for years. But he was a stranger that I've never met before. His request didn't sit right with me. I simply told him the garbage collector has collected my oven.

We met at this shopping mall. I wore a nice blue shirt with jeans and sneakers. He came with a t-shirt, a short and flipper (beach flip flop). He introduced himself. He asked what was wrong with my left leg. I explained to him (My left leg is slightly curvy due to an injury and obesity). I was fine with him asking. He asked politely.

I asked him where he would like to eat. I don't mind any restaurant in the mall. My treat. He said, "Why don't we eat outside? There's a small food stall outside."

I said o.k.

We walked to this food stall selling Indian food located 100m+ away from the mall. A little hidden. I reminded him again that it would be my treat so eat up. But he just took a small tiny amount of food. I was confused. My plate was full with chicken curry, rice etc.

Nonetheless the lunch went well. He was easy-going. So was I. We talked a lot throughout the lunch. 

After a while he said, "J, I don't mean to rush you but I made a promise to meet a friend for dinner at the mall so can we finish up..." Yes, the same mall we met up. I said okay.

We had a good talk while heading back to the mall. He accompanied me to the underground train station located in the mall. 

He sent a text the next day about having a good lunch. I did too. Then the dating app sent me a message, "Your chat with xxx is about to expire. Would you like to extend the chat?"

I did not. 

I probably should have told him that it's not working between the two of us but yeah. I ghosted him.

I hate to say the word. Stingy.

I don't think I can be with someone like that. I'm not expecting for someone to splurge money etc. because I have my own income but don't be too calculative? And also, he didn't have issue having dinner with his friend at the same mall. So yeah.