07-23-2014, 03:37 PM
JayJay,
First off
to the forum. You in the right place for advice (good and bad)
I get that your trying to do the right thing, and I applaud you for that.
I was married for 14 years before I came out properly, and it was a really hard time (kids/military etc.) My biggest regret is not being honest to myself from the start, and emotionally hurting a lot of people when I came out. Im not kidding when I say it took years to get over.
Most people go through the "curious stage" in there early to mid teens, so its actually quite unusual (in my experience) to be getting involved quite so late in life. Its quite telling that you use the phrase "my gay side" not my bi or curious side. I think that says lots by itself.
Sexuality is a very complex beast, and as you're finding out, its very difficult to put pandora back in the box.
The fact that you have continued to see, and enjoy the company of the other guy, clearly indicates that if your not gay, at the very least you are bi.
Entering in to a monogamous str8 relationship at this stage would be disastrous for both of you. Do you honestly want to start off your married life already living a lie. If you love her as a person, you will gently walk away. There will be lots of questions, and no doubt some tears, but what you do now is the right thing.
Message me direct if you need to talk more outside the public forum.
Good Luck,
ObW
X
First off
to the forum. You in the right place for advice (good and bad)I get that your trying to do the right thing, and I applaud you for that.
I was married for 14 years before I came out properly, and it was a really hard time (kids/military etc.) My biggest regret is not being honest to myself from the start, and emotionally hurting a lot of people when I came out. Im not kidding when I say it took years to get over.
Most people go through the "curious stage" in there early to mid teens, so its actually quite unusual (in my experience) to be getting involved quite so late in life. Its quite telling that you use the phrase "my gay side" not my bi or curious side. I think that says lots by itself.
Sexuality is a very complex beast, and as you're finding out, its very difficult to put pandora back in the box.
The fact that you have continued to see, and enjoy the company of the other guy, clearly indicates that if your not gay, at the very least you are bi.
Entering in to a monogamous str8 relationship at this stage would be disastrous for both of you. Do you honestly want to start off your married life already living a lie. If you love her as a person, you will gently walk away. There will be lots of questions, and no doubt some tears, but what you do now is the right thing.
Message me direct if you need to talk more outside the public forum.
Good Luck,
ObW
X
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