07-23-2014, 10:39 PM
You made your bed and you will lay in it eventually.
Your choice is NOT her finding out... your choice is if she finds out by you in a nicer way, or if she finds out in some subtle way, or your leaving data around accidentally.
Its like this, everyone who cheats eventually fucks up and leaves evidence around which pisses the SO off far, far, far more than you just admitting you did something.
Of course she won't trust you. The whole monogamy thing is based on trust. Once a person breaks that (what may be a fundamental one at that) trust in a relationship the 'free trust boat' has set sail and will never return to that particular port.
What really annoys is now you are trying to play the victim here....
Cowards way is to make assumptions and apply bad logic to a situation that defys logic.
Look, you made choices (bad ones they may be), now you want to get out from paying the consequences for those choices. It doesn't work that way.
Let me tell you what will happen in HIS mind if you up and leave her.
He will always - ALWAYS wonder in the back of his mind when you are going to cheat on him and leave him for the other....
So there is a price to pay for your so called 'logical' choice....
What you fail to understand (in another area) here is that he is a new infatuation, a new toy and you are having new experiences which will only be new for the short term.
With her you have the same old stuff, day after day after day - you had your new infatuation phase with her. That part is over... now you have the other phases to love to face and go through, perhaps not as thrilling and exciting as your first go round, but rewarding in their own way.
I bet you had that real special toy you just had to have as a kid, you got it and played the hell out of it for a while. A few days, a couple weeks, maybe even a couple of months later that new toy lost its interest and it ended up in the closet (or under bed) with all of those other toys you once had a love affair with.
This is what is happening now, however the horror is you are not dealing with inanimate objects (Toy Story aside), you are dealing with living, breathing, feeling human beings and someone is going to get hurt - and that ain't just yourself.
3 years from now, should you up and leave the potential wife, you will have the exact same dull/boring feelings about him as you do about her.
If you are bisexual I'm pretty certain you will decide its now time to go back to women since guys just ain't doing it for ya no more.
Most guys who start off the way you are eventually play ping pong, going back and forth over the net until they are either too old to pick up new people, or they realize that one person is enough and love changes and all of the other secrets to life.
Your choice is NOT her finding out... your choice is if she finds out by you in a nicer way, or if she finds out in some subtle way, or your leaving data around accidentally.
Its like this, everyone who cheats eventually fucks up and leaves evidence around which pisses the SO off far, far, far more than you just admitting you did something.
Of course she won't trust you. The whole monogamy thing is based on trust. Once a person breaks that (what may be a fundamental one at that) trust in a relationship the 'free trust boat' has set sail and will never return to that particular port.
What really annoys is now you are trying to play the victim here....
Quote:He knows everything,
If I chose her she will never trust me again and it would be over so by this logic based on what I Have done I have to pick him....
Cowards way is to make assumptions and apply bad logic to a situation that defys logic.
Look, you made choices (bad ones they may be), now you want to get out from paying the consequences for those choices. It doesn't work that way.
Let me tell you what will happen in HIS mind if you up and leave her.
He will always - ALWAYS wonder in the back of his mind when you are going to cheat on him and leave him for the other....
So there is a price to pay for your so called 'logical' choice....
What you fail to understand (in another area) here is that he is a new infatuation, a new toy and you are having new experiences which will only be new for the short term.
With her you have the same old stuff, day after day after day - you had your new infatuation phase with her. That part is over... now you have the other phases to love to face and go through, perhaps not as thrilling and exciting as your first go round, but rewarding in their own way.
I bet you had that real special toy you just had to have as a kid, you got it and played the hell out of it for a while. A few days, a couple weeks, maybe even a couple of months later that new toy lost its interest and it ended up in the closet (or under bed) with all of those other toys you once had a love affair with.
This is what is happening now, however the horror is you are not dealing with inanimate objects (Toy Story aside), you are dealing with living, breathing, feeling human beings and someone is going to get hurt - and that ain't just yourself.
3 years from now, should you up and leave the potential wife, you will have the exact same dull/boring feelings about him as you do about her.
If you are bisexual I'm pretty certain you will decide its now time to go back to women since guys just ain't doing it for ya no more.
Most guys who start off the way you are eventually play ping pong, going back and forth over the net until they are either too old to pick up new people, or they realize that one person is enough and love changes and all of the other secrets to life.
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