Really need help

[seekingadvice]

I find this strange, not the fact that you like older men but that you are so concerned about it. Putting the "taboo" issue aside (and honestly, this wouldn't be any kind of a taboo if you happened to be female, I call double standards!), what is it precisely about liking older men you're bothered about?

Its not the fact that I like older men that I am concerned about. I really am attracted to them but after we have our fun I tend to feel more guilty than happy (although I do enjoy it while it is happening.) And I force myself to not meet anyone else for a while, 5 months+, but then I just am unable to stop myself. I think what bothers me the most is thinking about my future, and how although this may be fun now I am pretty disgusted with myself and don't know whats going to happen in the long run.