Really need help

[seekingadvice]

I was the same age as you when I met my husband who was 20 years older than me,,, so I suppose you can say I liked older men when I was young. I'm now 58 and my hubby is 78.

It sounds like you have three problems that your having difficulty dealing with at the moment;

1. Your not sure about your sexual orientation.
2. Your attraction to older men.
3. Your feeling stuck because you haven't been able to form a long term relationship due to your not being sure if your 100% gay.

Sexual orientation can best be understood by knowing what sex your most attracted to on a physical & emotional level. Put simply: If you have or can fall in love with a male, then your gay. If you have or can fall in love with a male and a female, then you Bi-sexual... If you have or can fall in love with a female but not a male, then your Heterosexual.

Being attracted to older guys is not a taboo,,, and is more common than you may realize. I prefer to tell people that I'm attracted to the more mature men (smile) They are more settled, less judgmental, and the best part - they don't fumble around in the bed trying to decide what to do next!!!! (Big Grin)

You should also keep in mind that what you find attractive in a man right now,,,, may change as you get older. You may become attracted to younger guys when you reach my age bracket.

My suggestion is not to over analyze your sexuality or attractions,, in order to reach a quick solution. It may take time for you to become fully aware of your own feelings. Some of us know in our early teens what our sexual orientation is, and some people take a little longer to figure it all out. You are wise by not getting into a committed relationship until you know exactly what you want.

Best of luck,
Jim

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I guess what I am scared of is this: I feel that I might just be attracted to older men because it is taboo and because, although I'm not entirely sure, maybe because I had a horrible relationship to my father. What is scary though is the STRONG sexual attraction that I have towards them. And its been almost 3 years, it doesn't seem like its going away. I like women and can easily see myself having a relationship with one. One girl that I spend a lot of time with I get kind of emotional and become very attracted to her. But I am nervous that if it got to the point where we were about to do something sexual, whether it be a month or in 5 years I'm not sure if I could perform.. The one and only time I was in bed with a girl before, I could not 'get it up,' and it was very embarrassing. I also dont get an erection from girls naked although if i start trying for a minute or two it will come, while I get an automatic one from older men. I guess you can say I'm just really confused, and I don't want to fool a girl if its not going to work out.