07-26-2014, 02:24 PM
I was 17 when I met my (now husbear!) sexybear (47!) online. I was just another average guy, in the closet, when I went to meet him after a few months of chat (and webcam sex...)
I am also very attracted to older men. Particularly hairy ones. A white beard on a cute face with a heartwarming smile literally melts my body proper, while solidifying my sexpole.
I came out a few months after I met him the first (and second) time and told my family and friends about him a few weeks later. It's two things to swallow (well 3 really!),
#1, I'm gay.
#2, I have a boyfriend.
#3, he's your age mum....
I'm now 25 and I've lived with this guy since I was 20. After I finished school I moved in with him. So we've lived together for 5 years and been together for 7 (and a half!).
My mum and my husbear are best of friends. And my family as a whole have fully accepted us both. I've had lots of questions over the years; "why him?" "why does he like you?", but it was never an uphill battle. People were much more accepting and goodwilled than I feared. Even my new neighbours and my class mates.
Either I am lucky and surround myself with the best people the world has to offer, or the world is generally more accepting than we fear.
So, my advice to you dear seekingadvice, is to find out what you want and then go for it. You're just another chaser
, there's no need to feel bad about that. There are people who feel exactly like you do, all over the world.
There's just one important thing you need to remember, as Uneunsae also pointed out, there's a big difference between fantasy and real life. For instance, I like the fantasy of having sex with random bears and many of them at once. I like the fantasy of being tied down and dominated, to the point of abuse. But in reality, I like neither of those. In reality I like to go to bed with my teddy. Cuddle on the couch with my teddy. Watch the sun go down with my teddy. Walk our dog along the beach with my teddy, hand in hand. We have a very passionate sexlife, don't get me wrong, but we're exclussively monogamous and I wouldn't want it any other way, despite my fantasies.
Oh and about suicide, would you really rather throw the one and only life you have away, than live your life the way you see fit, with or without the crude judgment of your family/friends?
What's the absolutely worst that could happen? The worst is that you die. The second worst is that your family and friends all shun you, which is VERY unlikely! They love you and will continue to love you, just as you are. In fact they'll probably love you more, as you will become a much happier person, if you're truthful to yourself and those around you. The third worst is that a few family members and/or friends shun you. I sadly lost my best friend when I told him about me. He couldn't handle it. Which surprised me........
That just goes to show, you cannot gauge the reaction you're going to get.
Oh and total bonus info sidestory! When I came out to my mum, she was fine with it. She had picked me up after a show of gymnastics and we were headed home in the car. I told her I had two things to tell her, first that I love her very much (I am not the kind of person who says this, in fact I've never said it before or since (to anyone but my husbear!)), second that I'm gay. She was fine with it. She asked me some questions of how long I've known and stuff like that..
Later on, hours or days, not sure, I talked to her about it again while she was sitting down in her home office. She started crying and told me she was so afraid that I'd get sick. I didn't really understand at the time and just assumed it was a cover, like as if she really wanted me to be straight or whatever.. We had (to my knowledge at the time) never had homosexuals in our family or among our friends etc., so this whole "you'll get sick" thing kind of came out of the blue, which is why I thought it was a cover for some other reason.
But! As it turned out my mothers older sister, my favourite aunt, had a boyfriend when she was younger. And he was gay. He died of AIDS.... My aunt was devastated, ofcourse. He was a dear dear friend of hers.
I found out about this, literally a week ago. Why was I never told?!?!??!?!?!?!! That's relevant info for the "only gay in the village"!
I am also very attracted to older men. Particularly hairy ones. A white beard on a cute face with a heartwarming smile literally melts my body proper, while solidifying my sexpole.
I came out a few months after I met him the first (and second) time and told my family and friends about him a few weeks later. It's two things to swallow (well 3 really!),
#1, I'm gay.
#2, I have a boyfriend.
#3, he's your age mum....
I'm now 25 and I've lived with this guy since I was 20. After I finished school I moved in with him. So we've lived together for 5 years and been together for 7 (and a half!).
My mum and my husbear are best of friends. And my family as a whole have fully accepted us both. I've had lots of questions over the years; "why him?" "why does he like you?", but it was never an uphill battle. People were much more accepting and goodwilled than I feared. Even my new neighbours and my class mates.
Either I am lucky and surround myself with the best people the world has to offer, or the world is generally more accepting than we fear.
So, my advice to you dear seekingadvice, is to find out what you want and then go for it. You're just another chaser
, there's no need to feel bad about that. There are people who feel exactly like you do, all over the world.There's just one important thing you need to remember, as Uneunsae also pointed out, there's a big difference between fantasy and real life. For instance, I like the fantasy of having sex with random bears and many of them at once. I like the fantasy of being tied down and dominated, to the point of abuse. But in reality, I like neither of those. In reality I like to go to bed with my teddy. Cuddle on the couch with my teddy. Watch the sun go down with my teddy. Walk our dog along the beach with my teddy, hand in hand. We have a very passionate sexlife, don't get me wrong, but we're exclussively monogamous and I wouldn't want it any other way, despite my fantasies.
Oh and about suicide, would you really rather throw the one and only life you have away, than live your life the way you see fit, with or without the crude judgment of your family/friends?
What's the absolutely worst that could happen? The worst is that you die. The second worst is that your family and friends all shun you, which is VERY unlikely! They love you and will continue to love you, just as you are. In fact they'll probably love you more, as you will become a much happier person, if you're truthful to yourself and those around you. The third worst is that a few family members and/or friends shun you. I sadly lost my best friend when I told him about me. He couldn't handle it. Which surprised me........
That just goes to show, you cannot gauge the reaction you're going to get.
Oh and total bonus info sidestory! When I came out to my mum, she was fine with it. She had picked me up after a show of gymnastics and we were headed home in the car. I told her I had two things to tell her, first that I love her very much (I am not the kind of person who says this, in fact I've never said it before or since (to anyone but my husbear!)), second that I'm gay. She was fine with it. She asked me some questions of how long I've known and stuff like that..
Later on, hours or days, not sure, I talked to her about it again while she was sitting down in her home office. She started crying and told me she was so afraid that I'd get sick. I didn't really understand at the time and just assumed it was a cover, like as if she really wanted me to be straight or whatever.. We had (to my knowledge at the time) never had homosexuals in our family or among our friends etc., so this whole "you'll get sick" thing kind of came out of the blue, which is why I thought it was a cover for some other reason.
But! As it turned out my mothers older sister, my favourite aunt, had a boyfriend when she was younger. And he was gay. He died of AIDS.... My aunt was devastated, ofcourse. He was a dear dear friend of hers.
I found out about this, literally a week ago. Why was I never told?!?!??!?!?!?!! That's relevant info for the "only gay in the village"!
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
