attractions

[Virge]

You asked about pansexualism and I was hoping someone else would jump in and do a good job of explaining it and save me from having to do it ---- because I don't think anyone in GS has been spared my rants about labels. I hate them. I hate them even more when they're stuck on me... by the jerk I'm going to end up marrying.

Pansexual fits me pretty well. I'm attracted to both sexes pretty much equally when you do it on paper with pluses and minuses. The big thing for me is that unless there is some sort of chemistry between me and a guy --- or a woman it's not even arousing for me. Without some sort of connection or chemistry it's all just meaningless to me.

And to screw up the whole pansexual definition I attach much higher value on that chemistry than on the gender of the partner. I happened to find it with a guy and I'm focused on him and him alone. From my understanding most people who are pansexual have a more difficult time in focusing on being monogamous. I don't. I can cut up about hot guys in a gay forum and women in a forum of predominantly straight guys (if I was in one) .... but it's all just me cutting up -- being funny. If I started a thread about the things that REALLY attract me to the guy I'm with you guys would beat me to death with a trophy for being the most boring and mushy pervert ever allowed in GS.

I know there's a deep psychological thingie about my sexuality and my friendships --- which are deep down to the marrow of the bone with men, gay straight or whatever.... but never much deeper than birdbaths with most women. I bond in a brotherly way with men a hundred times easier than with women regardless of the prospects of sex with either of them.

The freudian explanation would be my deep dark need to keep the brotherly love I had with my own big brother whose approval means more to me at age 26 than my parents.... and my parents give approval all the time. I have to EARN it from my brother and the guys who are my circle of friends.

Let me give you an example of how this works. If my parents ever found out I cheated on Jay they'd pour a lot of coffee and give me a long talk about relationships. If my brother found out --- or any of my straight guy friends found out --- all of them would walk off and throw their hands up and treat me like crap.

I could do another 10 paragraphs and explain this. I doubt you'd read it. Not a day goes by that I dont weigh the weight of my "brothers" against my heart. And not a day passes without a brother standing up to defend my heart. It's something that's incomprehensible in the gay world.