Dumped, and it hurts so much.

[Virge]

Hi G.O.T.

I read this when I woke 2 hours ago and put off answering so I could think about it. The other answers have all been supportive and kind. I'm afraid what I have to say may be less than that when you look at it on the surface.

I was in a very similar situation in 2007. The guy told me I was too inexperienced and too young to be thinking of us as a couple. He said I needed to date around for a couple of years and that we could still be friends with benefits. I was pretty much devastated BUT took time to think it out and take a different route than you're taking so far.

As bad as I wanted to blow him off for hurting me I realized that if if I did I'd have no chance of being around him at all. I accepted things as he wanted them to be, went along with it all even though it was not what I wanted. I made big efforts to put the hurt aside and become more fun to be around, more tolerant of his flings with guys and over time I was the guy he turned to to whine moan and complain about other men treating him like shit. I was also saving my pay so I could travel 8200 miles to see him every chance I had. When he and I chatted on line (with him initiating it EVERYDAY at least once) I avoided discussing my sex life as much a possible because I really had no sex life but there was no reason to let him know that. And he was constantly curious about what I was doing with whoever. I wouldn't even get perved up when we were camming ---- telling him he'd have to wait until the next time I came to see him.... so that led him to start being anxious for me to visit him.

It took 2 years three months and twelve days to break out of all that. it all came to a head when he'd gone through so much drama dating that he was talking to me online about dropping everything just to travel to come see me. I offered to pay and he backed out --- and he went into a couple of weeks of the shittiest moods and attitudes, feeling sorry for himself and texting, camming and emailing me to complain almost every hour (or it seemed like it) So... I did what a friend would do. I flew in to surprise him be supportive and then get back on a plane and fly back home 13 hours later. He was really mad I wasn't staying longer and the way things ended at the airport I left thinking it was over.

I was emotionally exhausted and numb and really didn't care if it did end. I got home 32 hours later and he'd been texting and chatting with my room mate the whole time --- and got my mother's number and had been calling her as well. He'd made a total about face and decided HE didn't want it to end and was getting my room mate and Mom to act as intermediaries to get me to talk with him. He and I talked but I finally started showing all the hurt I'd felt for so long. I think it was 12 days later he got his butt on a plane and came to visit me --- to work things out. We slept together 3 nights in clothes while the talking was done. HE finally came out and said he didn't want to go back to dating anyone else and wanted to see if he and I could really work out a relationship. Now it's 2014. He's moving here in December, and we're already planning a marriage July 2015.

We talk a lot about the 2 year plus ordeal we went through. He says I grew up 10 years in that time and showed how strong and level headed I could be. Then he turns around and says he learned not to be so practical, take chances and get out of his comfort zone. Since then he's really opened up and told me this morning he's not going to bitch anymore about me skydiving and that he'll try doing it...

I'm telling you all this so I can make a point and show you a mistake you've made. In the two years 3 months and 12 days of pure hell I went through I must have thought a couple of thousand times of blocking him, cutting him out of my life. If I had none of my dreams would have come true with him.

You blocked him because you were hurt.
You let your emotions push you into a decision to end something you really don't want to end....
And I wish I knew how to tell you to fix it. I really do.

Here's a funny picture of what you did by blocking him...

"You broke my heart..... so....."