What do you think about before you fall asleep?

[Cuddly]

I think of how horribly difficult it's going to be to get out of bed when I am woken up by my cellphones alarm. Which leads me to thinking of reasons why I don't necesarily have to get out of bed - most of my lectures can be taught by reading through the book anyway, right??...

And I think about my life, the choices I've made and what I'm going to do from now on, about what has to change and what has to stay the same. I think about how wonderfully lucky I am, but still wonder how things would've turned out if I had done this or that differently. Where would I be if I hadn't met my husbear online ~8 years ago? Would I be sleeping next to somebody else? Would I be happy? Would I be happier? Where would I live? Would I be studying? Would I even be alive?

Then I think about how silly we are. We judge ourselves and each other by a scale and by standards that are completely inappropriate for our desires/needs and conform to absurd norms that are wholly unnecesary. How did we ever get to this point? This is all wrong. There's no need to be so insecure. Why are we even wearing clothes? Sure, we need to keep our bodies warm, but why do we have such a thing as "private parts"? Why do they need to be private? Worst case scenario, all of us being naked would turn some people on on occasion and they'd get off and be a bit happier for the rest of the day - big deal eh?
Zzzz