the beginnings

[meridannight]

Oh, and to the OP: yes, your story about an adult male fondling the genitials of a toddler WAS a major trigger for me. Just reading that one line took me all that way back, past all the thearpy, to my grandmothers bathroom with my uncle on top of me. Just so you know.

sorry it triggered bad memories for you. and thank you for sharing your story.

my experience was a neutral thing for me; i thought it was obvious from what i wrote. i didn't think that it could trigger something negative for others.

When I read your original post, I thought how brave you were to share it. Later, reading some of the interactions you had with others concerning that one aspect of your post, I couldn't help but feel you have deeper associated feelings about the situation than you have specifically shared.
In fact, your telling of the story reminded me of a story an old friend told me about the first time he felt "different" when he was around 6 and showering with his father. Not so much the story itself, but the casual way it was dropped into the post.

i don't understand, are you talking about Gideon here? you were addressing him but it looks like you could be referring to my post.

in the latter case, nah i don't have any deeper feelings about it.

that incident was a neutral thing for me. not positive, not negative, just neutral. i know people will tell me it was wrong and that i should feel something about it. i never have, and what happened to me at the time did not feel negative. i just didn't want to start an argument on the subject of morality of an adult touching a kid that way, i'd never win that argument. and i agree it's wrong on the adult side. but that specific experience i went through in first person was never negative or wrong to me, and i will never see it that way. that's how arguing about it is pointless. we'll end up nowhere with it.

i wanted people not to focus on that because there was more to my post than that one thing. did you all just take that one thing out it? more important was what was going through my mind when i was a kid, the thoughts i had concerning other boys and being with them, which i also shared in my post. i wanted you to see that more than that incident with my mom's friend. that's why i wanted the issue to be put to rest. but if you really want to talk about it that much i can answer all your questions.