First Gay Experience?

[Blackout]

[Copied from "Need Your Advice" thread (Online Dating)]

My first experience was mid-last year with a guy roughly 2 years older than me. We hadn't dated or met in person for about a month or two, and were thus Skyping/chatting online for ages (partly because I wasn't able to physically go anywhere at the time). During that time you can obviously pick up that we learnt a lot about each other during that time that most other people would have otherwise found out through normal dates.
Getting to know the basics of each other (what we liked, what we did, where we lived) soon grew into late night phone-calls that pretty much had us talking about life and the universe - they were some serious conversations.
As a result when we met in person for the first time, it was at his house. At the time I thought it was alright since we'd already gotten to know each other so much, so in our own way we both trusted each other enough to meet him at his home. His parents had left for a few weeks on a trip so we had the house to ourselves, and obviously we both took this to our advantage so we decided that I would stay at his place for a few days.
The first night we started cuddling and, ultimately, making out. The following few nights we increased the intensity of our kissing sessions but we agreed to never go "all the way", so we just kept making out and jerked/blew each other off. (Dunno if it's too soon for me to be getting so detailed haha - if so, I apologize hahaha. The mods can just edit this down. Either way I've seen a lot of 'detailed' posts around the place so I guess it's ok haha)

Now don't get me wrong. It was an incredible experience just to be with someone else and I enjoyed every minute with him - in the end I didn't want to leave haha. We'd even made it official (privately, at the time) that we were boyfriends. But as the weeks went by I looked back and I was like "No, that just doesn't feel right to me.. That shouldn't have gone the way it did, let alone the fact that ultimately it wasn't what/how I wanted to do things, relationship-wise".
I was still trying to figure out a lot of personal things at the time, and me being with him was ultimately, I decided, an experiment/experience that did need to happen for those reasons. And it made me realize that I wasn't OK with it, and that wasn't how I wanted to play it out. I didn't say that to him directly when I broke up with him (dunno whether I should have told him or not), but I basically said there's too much going on in my life right now and I don't have time for boyfriends, so I didn't lie completely as I still sort of referenced that aspect. I knew that if I told him that I would have pissed him off tenfold (as you would imagine... can you imagine someone saying to you "Hey, those nights we spent together to realize that we now love each other? I really only did that to experiment with my life, sorry."), and he was still a generally nice guy so I would have accepted it if we remained friends, and we did. It took him a while to come around to the realization that it was over and I had moved on rather quickly, but he got there.

So that's the story of my first experience. Short n' sweet.

"increased the intensity of our kissing sessions." what a lengthy way of putting it.

The thing that i dont get is this business about "Well we've just met so we probably shouldn't go 'all the way' but sticking our dicks in each other's mouths is fine".
Then why not go all the way if you're going to at some point anyway, and if you're rushing into any kind of sexual activity already? People kid themselves thinking that blowjobs are fine because they are "not sex". And this isn't a age thing. You may be young but I've had the odd guy near my age do the same. It's impatience.

Anyway i changed the subject. Spoops.