I think my family hates me...

[Jay]

I'll be waiting [MENTION=21041]Jay[/MENTION], we can get a house on the beach and drink mojitos in the nude

Nearby to a basketball court too cause if I'm not mistaken you play basketball.

Regarding to the discussion, my parents found out via my big brother. They raided my bedroom and found my bodybuilding magazines, dvds and comics. I used to draw a lot of comics; your typical superheroes and also porn oriented.

I wasn't around when they unlocked my bedroom. I was still in school (Religious school). My big brother and sister were in boarding schools. My baby brother was with me in school.

I went home. House door was wide open. My mom was crying at a corner in our living room. I stumbled into my dad who had a fierce look. But he didn't utter a word.

Long story short, I was shocked to find my bedroom was raided by my parents. My bodybuilding magazines, dvds and porn comics that I drew were scattered on the floor. I thought that was the end of my life.

I went downstairs and dropped down to my knees in front of my mom. Cried. I apologized. My mom asked me to repent. I was around 12 or 13 years old at the time.

I obliged.

My dad refused to talk to me for weeks or was it months. My baby brother who was still very young had no idea what was going on. He loves me very much.

So I repented. Tried to become straight for several years. My mom made sure to keep me away from anything that she thinks can affect my sexuality such as gardening, fashion etc.

I kept a machete, which belongs to my dad under my bed for several months; I thought y'know just in case if I ever need it to commit suicide.

By 19, I realized that I cannot lie to myself. I'm not interested in women.

Another incident occurred at the time. My big brother traced my internet cookies and informed my mom. My mom asked me about it. My baby brother was already old enough to understand what my mom was pointing out.

From that day on, my baby brother hates my guts. He has this anger in his eyes. He thinks I'm disgusting. For years, he refused to be in the same room as me. Let alone sit at the same sofa. We haven't spoken to each other ever since. I think it really affects my baby brother too. He becomes emo, only wear black clothes, decorated his bedroom in black ... he scribbled his car sun shades with "Don't Trust Your Girlfriend" and other negative stuff. It changes his future path. My baby brother already left the emo life and has become normal again. But he still hates my guts. Well you can't win everything.

My baby brother. I took care of him when my siblings were away in boarding school and when my mom was ill for years.





This was history.

Yes, it did hurt for years.