Hot and cold?

[ChrisH]

I think you need to get in touch with the real reason...or reasons..why you have never had sex with anyone....

Think of the truth like an onion...

Maybe what you have said far is the truth...but it isn't the entire truth..not even close...so peel the onion....and the truth will reveal itself...layer by layer...

The first thing that comes to mind for me everytime I hear this from a younger person..and it is quite common today (when I was 25..NO ONE was a virgin)....

Being 24..you have grown up with the reality that...quite possibly... sex=death...not an easy thing to come to terms with. I'd start there...

Okay, let's peel back some layers.

Most guys I've met, they lost their virginity when they were in high school, or early on in college.

And that's fine.

For me however:

- in high school, I couldn't figure out my sexuality, and with that I had this stigma that being gay was somehow bad (y'know the whole rap - "it's just a phase!" or "you're going to hell!" or "all gays are pedophiles!" - that's all I heard growing up)

- I didn't like most people in high school (I kept to myself most of the time), though I also had a few homophobic friends as well. I didn't know anyone that was gay apart from the rumor mill.

- I look back on my first semester of college and realize I could've gotten laid, but didn't.



I'm through with college, and honestly, sex just isn't appealing to me up front, at least if I'm dating someone. I've already dealt with enough stigma around the stereotype that, at least according to my own mother, being gay means I'm a total manwhore. (Which is false, and she's been corrected numerous times about what being "gay" really means). I could go on Grindr and shack up with someone, but I have no interest in doing so. I'm simply one of those guys who looks for personal connections first before physical attraction.

Does that explain me?