please help me out here :)

[Camfer]

Yes, they will verify the legitimacy of your marriage, as they do with all couples when one is not a US citizen. The word of the two of you definitely factors into the verification, but you will be asked to provide letters from friends in the US as well.

You do not want your relationship to be a secret in the US. You want to live a normal out life as a gay couple and make friends as an out gay couple.

Again, you absolutely need legal help from an immigration attorney who specializes in this and has a good track record of success in this area. Start saving up, because it will be costly, and it will take several years. It is doable if you keep at it and have the right assistance.