There is no LGBT community

[Emiliano]

I would like attention from any type of guy that doesn't hurt or kill other people. I have low standards. I do find some feminine guys attractive so I don't hate fem guys, just many don't go for other fem guys and I'm not one to really break barriers like that. I can't give or take from something that I never had or was offered.

I don't see what you mean by how do I contribute? I try not to complain as much. I understand that being a gay fem black man, that I can't be picky and wonder why I can't find love. It's just not common for a gay man to date a fem guy. It's not impossible, it's just rare and usually gay men of any degree want a masculine man, who is white or latino and there is nothing wrong with that.

But no I'm not thirsty for a white masculine man if that's what you are saying. I would like to find love with any type of guy that loves me back and I know god has a plan for me in that regard.

Sorry for not being clear. When it came to asking you about how you contribute, I meant like, what do you do to make the situation better? Im the kind of person who is more interested in solutions than problems. Of course its important to realize and identify the problem. But beyond that, its like, well... what are you going to do about it?

And it can seem like an overwhelming idea, but I don't think you're alone in how you feel about a lack of a community. So I just meant, what can you do, or what do you do, to improve that? To repair that? To lift up other black femme men who may feel as though they are unwanted, passed up, and so on. What kind of circles do you move in - what are your friends like?

What stops you from connecting with and dating another femme man? What makes a masculine man so attractive? Why, as a community - in your observation- does LA value those traits over femme ones? Can you identify what it is about being femme that makes you feel attractive, or the traits you might find attractive in other men who are not so masculine?

I mean those can be questions to ask yourself, or to ask the other black femme men around you. Its important to think critically about the things we internalize and what the implications might be. And I don't mean it directly at you, because you've said you'd be open to dating a femme guy, but I find it curious when a certain type of person might complain about not being found attractive, and at the same time, dont find others like themselves attractive.

Im just a big supporter of self reflection and self acceptance.