Need third party thoughts for me coming out

[pman117]

Thank you for the reply Boaxy, I appreciate your viewpoint.

I really felt it was nobody's fucking business what my function was, and unfortunately I didn't have to say a fucking word.

That's been my thinking up until just a few months ago. I really didn't think anyone needed to know and I've actually told that to guys I've played with before. "I'm not out because I don't feel like people need to know and I don't feel it matters" has kind of been my motto for the last several years. Unlike yourself, I'm pretty masculine so I "fit in" among all my straight friends and don't stand out in terms of people thinking I'm gay by my actions, voice, etc. (absolutely no offense towards you or anyone else). I dunno, like I said I'm just thinking out loud more than anything. I guess I'm tired of dodging/deflecting the girlfriend question or making up some hollow excuse about not having met someone.

As far as relationships go, in the past I've never desired one because I hadn't met anyone I really connected with until this guy. Unfortunately I think that is part of the problem and is clouding my judgement and why I voiced concern that I'm rushing into this. Almost like I'm worried I'm not doing this for me but for someone else which is a completely absurd reason to come out even to one person, I know.

And your tag says your Bi, and you say you're gay.
As long as you're happy that's all that matters.

Yea I joined right before I started feeling like I have been and was probably still somewhat in the denial stage. I forgot I picked Bi honestly. I've changed it because I am gay, I'm done pretending I'm not. I've thought about relationships with women mainly because I enjoy the idea of having a kid of my own (I know there are other alternative methods). But I know I wouldn't be happy. To answer your other question, no I'm not attracted to women really at all.

I understand I don't have to do any of this and I am in no way saying that every person should. I completely understand reasons for not coming out and I am in no way saying that is wrong or flawed. I'm simply trying to figure out where I need to be in that aspect. Not out? Out to some? Out to All? It's just really difficult at the moment and I know no one else can really help me with that decision.