How to deal with my narcissistic partner of 17 years

[AlohaShannon]

1) You BOTH should be going to therapy. Together. Then if the therapist says you both would also benefit from solo sessions, you both should do what the therapist says.

2) I'm sorry to hear about his mom. It's wonderful that you both take care of her, but is there a reason you haven't looked into either a care-giver or a care facility?

3) Re: your back. You need to look into the places that offer yoga in your area. You are specifically looking for someone that offers restorative yoga for injury recovery. This type of yoga is excellent as a form of very gentle physiotherapy for back injuries and back problems. Be sure you outline your physical issues with the instructor prior to class so that they can keep an eye on you.

Fusing can be a terrifying idea and it sounds like if they are interested in going that route, that you are popping disks? Sciatica down your legs could be a pre-cursor to beginning to lose feeling in (and control of) your legs. So, I encourage you to look into the restorative yoga, as it may help. The process can also teach your body's muscles to give your spine better support.

Absolutely everything to what Twist said!

He may be narcissistic (which is INCREDIBLY difficult to treat in therapy) but given the fact that you have been together for 17 years means that it is very likely that you both have fallen into a sort of rut that takes for granted the things you love about each other. Watch any movie on TV about a couple that's been together for over a decade and you'll see how easy it is to get into that position. Counseling for both together as well as individual counseling could be just the "tune up" that you both need to find your spark again.

As for the yoga that Twist mentioned, some studios call it restorative, others call it yin yoga, and some call it soft flow. It's typically done from a seated or laying down position and holds easy poses for 3-5 minutes. DEFINITELY look into it. It is absolutely the most enjoyable form of yoga that I've taken!

Lastly, you mentioned that you both make lots of money...finding some form of care for his mother shouldn't be a problem. You can even hire someone to provide in-home care for her.

Best of luck and I look forward to an update!!!

~Shannon