Is it okay to NEVER come out?

[princealbertofb]

Hi everyone, I'm new here.

I made my decision of never coming out. Yup, never ever ever. The process of directly coming out is just too awkward for me. Plus, when I find that boyfriend of mine in the future, I will be keeping him a big secret so that no one knows we're dating besides maybe a few close friends that I actually trust. My plan was to move out with my future boyfriend, settle in an affordable apartment just for the two of us, and live a happy life together. But when people (especially my family) see us together, I'll just tell them that we're friends from college. It's not like they could ever know, right?!! In other words, I will be living in disguise as a straight guy, but when I pull off the mask I'm actually gay.

Anyways, my siblings already suspects me of being gay but don't seem to mind much at all, but my parents are super conservative and would go crazy if they ever find out about me being gay. As a matter of fact, they still have the old fashion thinking that love should only be between a man and a woman, which I obviously disagree. This is why I'm never coming out. I don't want to disappoint my parents for having a gay son. What's the point of coming out if all I'm gonna get is disapproval? Yeah, there's no point at all.

Might as well just live in secrecy, and I don't mind secrecy.

@MisterLonely, hello and to GaySpeak. I think for the moment you feel safest keeping your sexual orientation a secret and that's fine. I hope that by staying a little while with us here, you will come to a better understanding of yourself, of your situation and of your fears to come out, and at least you can voice your anxieties and dreams here. You won't be judged.
But may I suggest, Mister Lonely, that you did not make yourself gay... Your parents made you the way you are, for one thing. Do you think they would reject you if you'd turned out to be a girl instead of a boy? Or that they would have rejected you if they'd realised that you had a particular condition, like some of the diseases that some people are born with?
The second thing is, it's all very well to think that you're going to be able to keep your life with your future boyfriend a secret. What if HE does not want to keep it a secret? What if he WANTS the world to know you are his boyfriend and that you are both HAPPY together?

I think your mind might change over the years. I hope you find that happiness you deserve.