Is it okay to NEVER come out?

[meridannight]

You're limiting the number of guys you can settle down with to those willing to live in the closet. Which is a small portion of gay community now and it's only going to shrink over time.

The man you fall in love with might want to come out of the closet sometime leaving you with a very painful dilemma.

Your parents are going to wonder why you aren't bringing home any girls to see them. Requiring a complex web of lies to build between you and your parents that is going to damage your relationship and is probably going to unravel at some point anyway.

There are a lot of holes in his dream plan. He has not thought it through at all.

a. He thinks he can just move away and live with his friend-boyfriend and pass that off to his parents as a sterile non-sexual relationship? His parents are not that stupid. Unless he marries and has kids his parents will figure it out that he's a homosexual. It's a very simple clear-cut math. I'm not even going to get into how deeply unhealthy it would be for him to find some pretend-girlfriend on the side to soothe his parents' suspicions.

b. He is under the impression that there is this guy out there that he'll meet and move in with, who will be happy to pretend along and lie to people. More likely he'll have sex with a bunch of guys, none of whom will agree to live in the closet with him, relationships won't work out and sex on its own will be less and less satisfactory in the long-term perspective.


It's abstract scenario all the way through to its core.

Why anybody would want to do that to themselves willingly is incomprehensible. Men weren't living in the closet already in the Middle Ages, mind you. Some men got married (with the catholic church) with other men back then, or just lived together and made their lives like that. Now, in the 21st century, how some men still don't have the balls to be true to themselves where it counts, is unbelievable to me.