The beauty of men

[Sylph]

I am not that romanticizing of this thing. I love men and am fascinated by them in a way that is entirely more intense and deep than can be imagined, and it especially applies to men I feel a connection to, including this guy. But I know I can't go ''all out'' with him on this, (unless it becomes something more).

I am well aware that such an ''attention'' has a threshold or a form beyond which it will make the recipient feel uncomfortable. I can usually control myself that much, and realize when I'm starting to overdo it.

So far he's been generally receptive to it, albeit a bit hesitant sometimes.

What exactly do you mean by not being 'insincere'? I get the impression there's something specific you meant by that...

And how exactly does it feel being on the receiving end of this? Do you mind describing it to me in more depth?

Insincere meaning;

Don't say things and feel things, and not express those things outwardly.

I'm not saying go atop a roof and profess your love or admiration, but a lil something wouldn't be bad


And as for my being on the receiving end of it, it's something that I've had to deal with from since I was 13 years old, when a 23 year old man wanted me.

Homosexuality isn't huge on my island, obviously, but those Downlow type of people and even "Masc Gays" exist here, who live life as "normal" (for us) and tend to seek out feminine guys.

And I have 3 friends, one of whom I work with, that are feminine like me and have had the same experience as me.


Guys here like to court by; buying you things, offering support, etc

Which all sounds "perfect", but it comes at a huge cost usually, typically your ability to be together in actuality, as those kinds of guys would never claim you publicly or will do so under the pretense that they are the "Male" partner.


It's actually not uncommon for Women to be the ones who do mostly everything, whereas Men prefer to just work, pay for the shit, be taken care of and oof course sex.


So for me, I'm already used to my own people and what that means, and the fact that men find me attractive and feminine, I draw that type of attention and it disgusts me more times than not.


Only cause I'm a super independent ass bitch, and I hate superficial shit.

Guys only ever look on me in either: Disgust or Lust.


It's not easy being Islander and Gay lol, between the Homophobia and desperation of Downlow gurls.

Your situation obviously is different, but I just saying gurl.