The beauty of men

[meridannight]

I am so happy you found your friend

Thank you. I am happy to have found him as well. I hope things will work out, because he's becoming dear to me. The more I spend time with him, the more I realize just how amazing he is. But there are some things about it I can't rush, and have to be more patient with. So, I'll have to tame myself a little bit, at the same time.


[MENTION=15656]Sylph[/MENTION], I wanted to add something, not sure how relevant, but it is something I need to get out --- part of my problem with it is that whereas I am great at being in touch with myself and my feelings, and great at verbalizing them, I am bad at showing actual emotion. And part of the fault is that, words and speech do not feel real to me. Even though I know that what I am saying is true, they are not real because I am not really ''proving'' (to use such a word) that I feel any of it. Words are less real than actions. And I can safely say everything, the most private and delicate things about myself and my emotions, while never putting myself out there in reality, because while I say what I feel, I don't show what I feel. And that leaves me invulnerable, intact. To do the other thing, to show my feelings, that's the hardest part.

I'm not saying I don't want to do it (I already went through that phase of denial in my youth), because I have realized that I do want it -- very much -- but I just don't know how to do it and/or how to be comfortable with it.