I'm alive. Thank God!

[verysimple]

Very glad that you're ok.

I do agree that things happen for a reason but I often think they aren't necessarily for the reasons you might think. If things do happen for a reason I think they are interconnected to each event, kind of like a spider web, but when the spider is on LSD.

While I don't know your exact relationship with your family. I think they probably do care about you but they have a very different and skewed perspective on what life is to them and that you should honor their wishes. It is kind of a old school way of thinking the way I see it. At any rate I think for your happiness I think you should distance yourself from them and focus on you. I think it is one's responsibility to go after what they want out of life, it is the only one we got.

I have been dealing with some possible issues, I worry a lot about things which may or may not be serious. I always feel like I am going to die alone and at a young age. My experience a couple years ago, not nearly as frightening as yours but enough to scare me to quit smoking. Got my act together with my health. However, even with all that there isn't any guarantee that I'm going to live a long life.

I do think we often end up treating people nicer than we ought to. Sometimes we're better off doing that, there's plenty of times where I should have been nice but was mean and there are times when I was mean but should have been nice. It happens. Sometimes you have to be nice, because it is your boss at work. At any rate, being nice usually works better in the grand scheme of things, but there's a difference between being nice and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.

Theodore Roosevelt said "Speak softly and carry a big stick."

That all being said, experiences like these really hit home, they make it sit back and reflect on things, I do very much think that it changes our direction. This might be in a way what you need to set things in motion to go after greater things.

I know that my parents care they just don't know how to show it and have a different way of communication and delivery ... I know they love me but they're just not really emotionally developed .. It's how I see it which is why I always distance myself from them.

Worrying about death isn't going to help you "Living"
It just makes you spend your time thinking about when you die. There's no set time to death. I could die right now while I am typing this.. So I guess we should all just be grateful for each day we live and live it to the max.. We should just live the day because it's all we have ... And that's how it should be and go.