Why I am still single...

[InbetweenDreams]

Well in the not so distant past I would have had the right mindset but realistically I would try to speed things up and rush into things which of course is a dangerous thing to do, at least from the perspective of aiming for a long term, or life time relationship.... People say long term, I say life time because long term doesn't mean you intend to stick together. I do think people CAN stick together when they do love someone, but the minute you stop loving someone things will fall apart. Sometimes we think and feel that it would be impossible for something to happen, as I felt that way before and was wrong a few times. I do think it does pay to do the due diligence and take the extra time....

I do agree that focusing on my own flaws is both and can be a bad thing. I do think that in the past I have done things, like try to lose weight so I could look more appealing to other guys or so I thought that was the right way. In the end it doesn't make much difference, I mean the guy who didn't want to date me before isn't going to be the right person for me anyway. Likewise, I shouldn't expect many guys to want to date me if I am 400 lbs either, or if I do drugs, smoke, etc.

I worry that my flaws are scaring off a lot of people who might otherwise think I am a good guy, like maybe they're keeping distant due to my flaws....but again, probably not the right person if they're expecting someone to be unrealistic in not having flaws. There are better guys and much worse than me. I think that is a fair stance.