Aries
When I was 18 I was working for a restaurant with my best female friend who kinda controlled my life. She'd often turn up at my bedroom window at night for long conversations, drive me places to meet her new girlfriend and sync our days off so we could do things together. I think she bought me a mobile phone once so she could ring me at will. Back then I had less self esteem, pretty much did what she said and was a bit of a helpless puppy. On the outside anyway. Inside I was kind of bubbling away... People tended to talk down to me and I was getting more and more frustrated. But on the outside I was shy and a bit timid.
After a while I started secretly dating my boss who was also in an on/off/on/off/on relationship with the cousin of a chef. We'd just drive out after work and kiss and stuff. I think we only had sex once. Eventually I told him it was the other guy or me and he kept stalling and I started to get more frustrated.
One evening I came into work a little early and I was in a good mood. As I came through the front door and I walked through the restaurant a regular customer said "I'm glad you're here Ian, everyone's been walking around with a face like a slapped arse". As I processed this the supervisor I was due to take over the shift from moaned "I've had enough of this place today I'm going home" and slammed the keys down in front of me. Nothing had been prepared for the evening shift and everything was a mess. Anyway I decided to take a breath and just carry on. Then my best friend came in and once she was settled I asked her if we had pre-orders for the big tables that night. She responded "how the fuck do I know?" and stormed off into the kitchen. By now I was kind of fed up of people talking to me like shit and my friend had been particularly controlling for the last month. Anyway a lovely old regular American couple came in so I calmed down a bit and went over to them and had a chat. The gent asked for some pasta dish with a THICK sauce. I put the message through and my friend cooked it, slammed it down on the pass and shouted "can we get some service please" and glared at me. Again I took a breath and took it over to the couple who were always guaranteed to be nice.
However, he looked at his pasta and went into some kind of passionate rage - "I ASKED FOR THICK SAUCE, GET ME A THICK SAUCE AND GET IT NOW!!!".
I still remember going into some kind of mode where everything froze for a couple of seconds and I just completely changed.
I picked up his pasta, stormed over it to my friend who was glaring still at the kitchen pass and for the first time in our relationship I glared back and shouted "make this fucking sauce thick like I told you to the first time" and slammed it on the pass. As she stared at me in some kind of shock, I went downstairs into the office where my manager was and told him I was leaving. He proceeded to talk to me In a condescending, baby-talk kinda voice about how I wasn't really leaving and that I was just being silly and was it because of him and me? I just laughed and said I'd had enough of him, my job an my hometown and I was moving to London the next day. Again he said I was being silly, it would never work out and I'd be back within a week. I told him he might be waiting a while and I picked up my stuff and left.
The next day I took a bag of stuff, said goodbye to my Mum and got on a train. I stayed with a friend who got me a job as a chef (the only chef) in their bar and I stayed there for over a year until I went home (as it was cheaper) to do night school whilst working in finance. I was a bit of a slut that year, sometimes to stay out late on a night out I'd go home with someone just so I didn't have to get the early train home :/
Anyway a few years back home and passing my studies I got a promotion and moved to a bigger city and did a nice office job, 9-5 Monday to Friday. However I didn't know anyone apart from workmates so one day I went alone into the local gay club and asked for a weekend job. I met loads of different people and it was pretty much like a night out, just paid. There I met the love of my life, he was just (cliched) different to the other guys I'd met and I remember the corniest part that still makes me laugh/cringe. We were walking to our homes one night the same way and I told him I was finding it difficult being his friend anymore. He went quiet and looked upset and asked why and I said "because I've fallen for you" (I was a lot younger back then
). He went quiet and then said "what if I told you I felt the same way?". Anyway we ended up seeing each other and it was intense and the most amazing few weeks APART from the fact he said we couldn't tell anyone as his best friend (who we worked with) fancied him and he didn't want to hurt his feelings. He kept saying he'd tell him but this went on and on.... Anyway by this point in my life my 'frustrated feelings' didn't take so long to boil to the surface so one night before work I decided to play a wild card and I told him we were over. He went quiet (again) and asked why?? I said it was because he was never going to tell his friend and I was fed up of waiting. He went quiet again and said he had planned to tell his friend that night. I said it was a load of bullshit and he never would.
In my head, I had this whole messed up dream that over the next few weeks he'd plead for me back and we'd make up and live happily ever after. Bit obviously I was just emotionally immature and in the end it was me asking him to get back together but he just didn't want to. I then went into a bit of a downward spiral, I got into debt, started drinking a lot, even experimented with drugs a couple of times and started going out even on week nights, spent weekends watching DVDs all day and then ended up with a complete rebound guy (originally to make my ex jealous) who turned out to be my longest relationship at almost two years. I got really ill, quit my job and moved back home.
It was probably the worst year of my life and looking back I can't even believe it was me. I had to start all over again but I rebuilt my life and discovered a whole bunch of weaknesses that I had. I also discovered true friends, and became a less selfish person as I realised how important my friends and family were to me.
After a while I started secretly dating my boss who was also in an on/off/on/off/on relationship with the cousin of a chef. We'd just drive out after work and kiss and stuff. I think we only had sex once. Eventually I told him it was the other guy or me and he kept stalling and I started to get more frustrated.
One evening I came into work a little early and I was in a good mood. As I came through the front door and I walked through the restaurant a regular customer said "I'm glad you're here Ian, everyone's been walking around with a face like a slapped arse". As I processed this the supervisor I was due to take over the shift from moaned "I've had enough of this place today I'm going home" and slammed the keys down in front of me. Nothing had been prepared for the evening shift and everything was a mess. Anyway I decided to take a breath and just carry on. Then my best friend came in and once she was settled I asked her if we had pre-orders for the big tables that night. She responded "how the fuck do I know?" and stormed off into the kitchen. By now I was kind of fed up of people talking to me like shit and my friend had been particularly controlling for the last month. Anyway a lovely old regular American couple came in so I calmed down a bit and went over to them and had a chat. The gent asked for some pasta dish with a THICK sauce. I put the message through and my friend cooked it, slammed it down on the pass and shouted "can we get some service please" and glared at me. Again I took a breath and took it over to the couple who were always guaranteed to be nice.
However, he looked at his pasta and went into some kind of passionate rage - "I ASKED FOR THICK SAUCE, GET ME A THICK SAUCE AND GET IT NOW!!!".
I still remember going into some kind of mode where everything froze for a couple of seconds and I just completely changed.
I picked up his pasta, stormed over it to my friend who was glaring still at the kitchen pass and for the first time in our relationship I glared back and shouted "make this fucking sauce thick like I told you to the first time" and slammed it on the pass. As she stared at me in some kind of shock, I went downstairs into the office where my manager was and told him I was leaving. He proceeded to talk to me In a condescending, baby-talk kinda voice about how I wasn't really leaving and that I was just being silly and was it because of him and me? I just laughed and said I'd had enough of him, my job an my hometown and I was moving to London the next day. Again he said I was being silly, it would never work out and I'd be back within a week. I told him he might be waiting a while and I picked up my stuff and left.
The next day I took a bag of stuff, said goodbye to my Mum and got on a train. I stayed with a friend who got me a job as a chef (the only chef) in their bar and I stayed there for over a year until I went home (as it was cheaper) to do night school whilst working in finance. I was a bit of a slut that year, sometimes to stay out late on a night out I'd go home with someone just so I didn't have to get the early train home :/
Anyway a few years back home and passing my studies I got a promotion and moved to a bigger city and did a nice office job, 9-5 Monday to Friday. However I didn't know anyone apart from workmates so one day I went alone into the local gay club and asked for a weekend job. I met loads of different people and it was pretty much like a night out, just paid. There I met the love of my life, he was just (cliched) different to the other guys I'd met and I remember the corniest part that still makes me laugh/cringe. We were walking to our homes one night the same way and I told him I was finding it difficult being his friend anymore. He went quiet and looked upset and asked why and I said "because I've fallen for you" (I was a lot younger back then
). He went quiet and then said "what if I told you I felt the same way?". Anyway we ended up seeing each other and it was intense and the most amazing few weeks APART from the fact he said we couldn't tell anyone as his best friend (who we worked with) fancied him and he didn't want to hurt his feelings. He kept saying he'd tell him but this went on and on.... Anyway by this point in my life my 'frustrated feelings' didn't take so long to boil to the surface so one night before work I decided to play a wild card and I told him we were over. He went quiet (again) and asked why?? I said it was because he was never going to tell his friend and I was fed up of waiting. He went quiet again and said he had planned to tell his friend that night. I said it was a load of bullshit and he never would.In my head, I had this whole messed up dream that over the next few weeks he'd plead for me back and we'd make up and live happily ever after. Bit obviously I was just emotionally immature and in the end it was me asking him to get back together but he just didn't want to. I then went into a bit of a downward spiral, I got into debt, started drinking a lot, even experimented with drugs a couple of times and started going out even on week nights, spent weekends watching DVDs all day and then ended up with a complete rebound guy (originally to make my ex jealous) who turned out to be my longest relationship at almost two years. I got really ill, quit my job and moved back home.
It was probably the worst year of my life and looking back I can't even believe it was me. I had to start all over again but I rebuilt my life and discovered a whole bunch of weaknesses that I had. I also discovered true friends, and became a less selfish person as I realised how important my friends and family were to me.
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