Gay & Fat

[InbetweenDreams]

Some gay guys, or people in general, are pretty damn cruel.

I get it, most guys aren't into guys who are overweight, fat...whatever. I'm not really either. Depending on who you ask, I'm fat, I'm not desirable.

Back in 2012 I quit smoking, I started eating healthy, I also started running. I wanted to lose weight and feel good about myself. I went from 205 down to 179, but I didn't stay there. After 4 months I stopped, started smoking again, went into depression, gained all the weight back and then some.

Last year I was up to 248 lbs. I was pretty much fat, at that point. I may look decent being on the heavy side, I get a lot of comments saying "I didn't know you weighed that much." However, doesn't change the fact that I'm overweight and for my own health, I need to lose it. Not to please anyone. I have heard it all, been told I'm fat...Even got this message...



I had tried to get started back on the treadmill and exercising in the mornings before work but I was having a hard time sticking to it. I had dated a couple guys off and on and there was a remark made that basically told me, at the time, that personality isn't enough. I for the most part agree, you can like someone a lot but if you're not sexually attracted to them it's a bust. I mean I know a couple who don't have sex, but seems to be an odd thing if you ask me. Sometimes things that people say hurt and can really damage you, even if that was never the intent. Trust me, I've cried and cried for hours because I thought that someone I liked a lot at the time thought I was fat and was saying it in a nice way.

At any rate, I think the thing is to not try to lose weight for someone else, or because you want to impress someone else or hope that they'll think, all of a sudden, that you're attractive. To me, that's cruel, not only to yourself but how shallow someone would have to be to actually do that. Oh but that 20lbs that came off really make you glow. Fuck that.

Lose weight for your health's sake. I think we're both about the same age. It is very true that the older you get the harder it gets. I lost 40 lbs between September of last year through July of this year. It took a lot of work. Look for a thread I started about losing weight, I forgot the exact title in this very moment, but I did a triathlon back in July. Not a big long one but still took me over 2 hours. If you want to lose weight, food is a good place to start, exercise too. My advice, having gone through it a few times is to start easy. Start with things that are easy to change and don't do it all at once. Don't think you're going to start a vegan diet tomorrow and run 3 miles, you will feel miserable and you'll quit. Give up soda at first, change one small thing, like a snack, or eat out less. Go for a walk, then maybe run for 20-30 second intervals, eventually it will become easier. Can talk more about strategy and more advice later if you like.

Anyway, I wish people, including myself were less critical about appearance in that regard. Perhaps love would come easier for everyone.