How Do You Feel About Monogamy?

[meridannight]

Whether I want a monogamous or an open relationship depends on whom I am in a relationship with, and also his wishes. I don't have this preconceived notion that I have to be in a monogamous or an open relationship. I want to be with a man, is all I know. And different men are different, and different relationships work differently. I can see an open relationship working in the long run if both partners are committed to the relationship and one another, and not to the notion of somehow having it both ways -- the relationship and all the sex on the side.

That's not how I see open relationships anyway. It's still a relationship, and both better be aware of it. It does not mean that you have license to sleep around with whomever you please whenever you please. Although that is probably how it is thought of mostly. Your primary responsibility is to your partner, and if he doesn't like what you're doing you better get your priorities straight. Open relationship does not equal bachelorhood with a partner.

My current partner and I are in an open relationship because that's the way it works for us. There are no specific reasons why it's like that. That's just the way it came to be.

I don't feel particularly inclined to sleep around, even in an open relationship, (and I definitely don't need variety or different flesh) but I do meet men and connect with them, and things happen. Sometimes I do get an itch, though, so to say. But it is easier to scratch that itch myself, than to pass on having sex with a man I feel connected to. That's where my weakness lies, I guess. It's why I think I am capable of cheating. I tend to connect with men very strongly, and I have no moral bounds holding me back.

I do know that I want to settle down with one man and make a life with him. I didn't feel like that till my late 20s. It's now that this drive is really kicking in for me.