Emotions

[Insertnamehere]

Quite frankly, I'm a very emotional person. Which is irritating to admit (oh, look at that, an emotion)

I make a fine job most of the time in keeping all that under control. I manage that just fine and everyone I know would tell you I'm indifferent, cold, etc.

Out there you're expected to behave and be composed, to do your work and take it all, put the other cheek and keep getting shit rained all over you without so much as a blink. Oh and men don't cry blah blah blah. You have to be in a calm state to do what you need.

I like being stable, composed and well behaved. I've been that way for many years. Not this one, though.

Sometimes, you just can't.

Recently I've been unstable as all hell and I haven't been very interested in controlling my emotions. Sure enough I've had my nights of bawling my eyes out, yelling at my wall, punching it, having angry rants, indulging in the good ol' alcohol, which leads to ever less control on myself etc, etc.

Sometimes you just need to get all that out. Preferably, either on your own or around people that you trust and can understand you. You do have to control yourself in certain contexts.