Hi there

[baristajedi]

Hi! Sorry for disappearing for a bit, things have been a bit busy lately.

Hey Baristajedi,

That's really good to hear that everything is going well with the kids! And that you have the support locally too! I'm still not at the forming a relationship with a guy stage just yet. Must admit it's the impact on my kids that makes me most apprehensive, not so much for them but those around- I'm an ex Londoner living in rural cornwall. Some people locally know why my wife and I have split(people my wife trusts) but others don't. If I find a boyfriend I can see it being "the talk of the town"- for a while anyway!


I don't mind hearing about your crushes, I'm still Bi enough to appreciate them haha! Is Alison Hannigan one by any chance? I loved her in Buffy- I was always quirky like that, everyone used to go on about Buffy, I liked the cute redhead! Haha! Although Spike was sexy in a punk kind of way, and Giles in a bookish kind of way. Hmm looking back think that's the difference cute versus sexy!

Hi Zen!

I understand your hesitance for your kids, given the views of the people who live around you. Kids themselves, as I'm sure you know are pretty open to accepting things, but the people near them can really give them a hard time.

That said, it sounds like for you, it's more of a question of *when* you will have a partner, not *if*, so perhaps it can start with introducing them early to accepting same sex relationships, and if you worry about their peers, you can also introduce some ideas about others viewing things differently and having trouble accepting different relationships. What are the ages of your kids? I think you've said, I'm sorry my memory on that is fuzzy!

With my daughter, I have done a little of both of those things, but in terms of peer pressure, it was more about dealing with pressure about gender, because she was getting bullied about gender issues (she's only 4! I couldn't believe that was already happening).

With my daughter - I talked to her about it by showing her my pride flag just as a start. I showed it to her and said, this is really important to mommy, because it means that it's ok for anyone to love anyone- women can love women, men can love men. I asked her did you know women can marry women/men can marry men? Etc. Once we were walking along and saw a family with two dads. I said, hey look sweetie, that little girl has 2 daddies. She was like - I want 2 daddies! Since then I've talked a lot with her about these things. She is so relaxed about it. And now she knows I have a girlfriend, we love eachother, etc.

In terms of dealing with peer pressure - with her it was about boys picking on her for liking "boy shows", "boy games", etc. I have had lots of conversations about how girls (and boys) can like whatever they want but not everyone agrees. We talked about how to respond to people pressuring her or bullying her, I praised her for standing up for herself and reminded her how much I support her. This can be a good thing for kids to learn no matter how likely it is for them to be bullied.


About crushes, hmmm I love strong women. I find women with boldness and passion really sexy. I also like quirky and brainy women too. I like Gina Torres, Gina Rodriguez… feisty and beautiful. I do have a thing for Alyson Hanigan But I love all the women from Buffy, Buffy herself, Tara and Anya. They each have their own type of beauty but also such well-rounded characters with a lot of depth and strength…

Good call on Spike and Giles. I love them! If I were into guys, I'd go for them too!