Hi there

[Zen]

Hi! Sorry for disappearing for a bit, things have been a bit busy lately.










Hi Zen!

I understand your hesitance for your kids, given the views of the people who live around you. Kids themselves, as I'm sure you know are pretty open to accepting things, but the people near them can really give them a hard time.

That said, it sounds like for you, it's more of a question of *when* you will have a partner, not *if*, so perhaps it can start with introducing them early to accepting same sex relationships, and if you worry about their peers, you can also introduce some ideas about others viewing things differently and having trouble accepting different relationships. What are the ages of your kids? I think you've said, I'm sorry my memory on that is fuzzy!

With my daughter, I have done a little of both of those things, but in terms of peer pressure, it was more about dealing with pressure about gender, because she was getting bullied about gender issues (she's only 4! I couldn't believe that was already happening).

With my daughter - I talked to her about it by showing her my pride flag just as a start. I showed it to her and said, this is really important to mommy, because it means that it's ok for anyone to love anyone- women can love women, men can love men. I asked her did you know women can marry women/men can marry men? Etc. Once we were walking along and saw a family with two dads. I said, hey look sweetie, that little girl has 2 daddies. She was like - I want 2 daddies! Since then I've talked a lot with her about these things. She is so relaxed about it. And now she knows I have a girlfriend, we love eachother, etc.

In terms of dealing with peer pressure - with her it was about boys picking on her for liking "boy shows", "boy games", etc. I have had lots of conversations about how girls (and boys) can like whatever they want but not everyone agrees. We talked about how to respond to people pressuring her or bullying her, I praised her for standing up for herself and reminded her how much I support her. This can be a good thing for kids to learn no matter how likely it is for them to be bullied.


About crushes, hmmm I love strong women. I find women with boldness and passion really sexy. I also like quirky and brainy women too. I like Gina Torres, Gina Rodriguez… feisty and beautiful. I do have a thing for Alyson Hanigan But I love all the women from Buffy, Buffy herself, Tara and Anya. They each have their own type of beauty but also such well-rounded characters with a lot of depth and strength…

Good call on Spike and Giles. I love them! If I were into guys, I'd go for them too!

Hey!

Yeah kids are cool, like you say it's narrow minded parents that steer them towards hatred- nobody is born racist or homophobic, that has to be learned.

Yeah it's on my mind about maybe both if or when? Things at home are emotionally raw still so it would be a while away for sure. I still feel so guilty for coming out! My boys are 5 and 4. Sorry to hear about your daughter, that's really not good, hope she's ok. Sounds like you're handling it well.

That's a really nice way to do it. My wife has talked about it with the boys as there is a kid locally with two mummies, and it's cool! In the same way that we've taught them that there are lots of ways people are different- we just want them to be comfortable with themselves and others.

Think that's what I like all around- sense of boldness, but also quirky and brainy! Faith was quite a sexy and kick-ass gal! :-) but....Angel!! Mmm! Maybe he's too obvious a crush though! Haha!