Buying Junk

[Cridders88]

He sounds a lot like a guy I used to know. He would put so much money into cars which he would then promptly destroy that he ended up losing the roof over his head more than once. But he couldn't stop. He saw it as his passion and made the same silly mistakes over and over, to the point he would have unusable cars littering where he lived. There was just no telling him. They aren't the same people of course but your description of this guy reminded me of him.

I get the anxiety thing too. Heck, I have crippling anxiety in most avenues of life. So I get how he can be stuck in a job that he doesn't enjoy. Does he just flat out refuse to look for other work at all? Can he see you are trying to help him at least?

I don't think you are being an asshole for what it's worth. If you guys are long distance and he doesn't have a functioning car, something has to give. You are just being practical. I feel you will need to talk to him if you do want to make things more serious. Do you know if he wants to take things further? If you both do then you should address these issues with him (especially the transport issue, maybe the job issue can be later, baby steps), with the conversation starting with you are only saying these things because you want things to advance between you both.

And then the final thing to consider, do YOU want things to advance further? It sounds like the contact you have with him is leaving you unfulfilled. Do you think this is because you guys have had limited face to face contact? Things can get stale over the phone I guess if that is the main substance behind your guys dating.

Lots to consider, you aren't being an asshole though. I think you guys are stuck in a rut and need to move forward.