Gemini
05-21-2021, 12:30 PM
@The Goof
I'm glad what I said managed to help! It sounds like your partner is attracted to you because of who you are rather than what race or skin colour you are, which is awesome and definitely how a relationship should be. Having a list of things to work on and remember is great too, but try not to get too despondent if you can't rigidly always keep to them, we are only human after all and will always make mistakes every now and again
I think people do have a really bad habit of comparing ourselves to other people we see in our daily life, and seeing the things that they have that we don't and feeling guilty and like failures because we don't have those things. Like seeing someone with a great body, or seeing someone that has a great job with a lot of money, seeing someone that has a bigger house than you, someone who you think looks naturally more good-looking than you. It's easy to get caught up in what we don't have that other people do, but then I think even though it's hard to believe, there are probably people who look at us and think "I wish I had what he does, what if I'm not as good as him?".
It's not going to be an overnight process where you learn to love yourself (I definitely can't say that I love myself to be honest!), but taking a small step every now and again where you can think to yourself "This thing about me is good enough" is a good start I reckon.
I definitely understand the fear of losing someone you care about so much, I think it's a normal fear most people have in a loving relationship at one time or another. But just remember that while it feels like he makes you feel really good about yourself, you probably make him feel the same way about himself, even if you don't realise it or believe it
And try not to feel guilty about not figuring out these issues before getting into a relationship, most people have no clue how they would feel being in a relationship with someone they really care about. For most of us it's a shock to the system when it does actually happen, but that is part of the excitement and joy of being with someone I guess!
I'm glad what I said managed to help! It sounds like your partner is attracted to you because of who you are rather than what race or skin colour you are, which is awesome and definitely how a relationship should be. Having a list of things to work on and remember is great too, but try not to get too despondent if you can't rigidly always keep to them, we are only human after all and will always make mistakes every now and again
I think people do have a really bad habit of comparing ourselves to other people we see in our daily life, and seeing the things that they have that we don't and feeling guilty and like failures because we don't have those things. Like seeing someone with a great body, or seeing someone that has a great job with a lot of money, seeing someone that has a bigger house than you, someone who you think looks naturally more good-looking than you. It's easy to get caught up in what we don't have that other people do, but then I think even though it's hard to believe, there are probably people who look at us and think "I wish I had what he does, what if I'm not as good as him?".
It's not going to be an overnight process where you learn to love yourself (I definitely can't say that I love myself to be honest!), but taking a small step every now and again where you can think to yourself "This thing about me is good enough" is a good start I reckon.
I definitely understand the fear of losing someone you care about so much, I think it's a normal fear most people have in a loving relationship at one time or another. But just remember that while it feels like he makes you feel really good about yourself, you probably make him feel the same way about himself, even if you don't realise it or believe it
And try not to feel guilty about not figuring out these issues before getting into a relationship, most people have no clue how they would feel being in a relationship with someone they really care about. For most of us it's a shock to the system when it does actually happen, but that is part of the excitement and joy of being with someone I guess!
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