Anti-Depressants

[InbetweenDreams]

My personal experience is the medication I’ve tried when depression hits is more of a placebo/comfort blanket to feel like I’m doing *something* to try and end the depression, although I have never really felt a positive change from the medication and the doctors always say it takes a long time to have any effect. In the end I kind of just weather the storm until I can cope on my own and it passes. Some people may read that as ‘well maybe it was the medication helping you weather the storm!’ but I really don’t think it helps with the immediate days/weeks which are always the hardest. The only good thing about them was they made me really drowsy, when I have an episode I crave being asleep (when I feel safe/switched off) so this helped.

I’ve come to accept now that time I truly is  only healer for my episodes. I just remind myself I always get through them and just get through each individual day (I find during depression it’s better to focus on the smallest goals and just take each day as it comes). I find it really really hard to be sociable and internalise as soon as a bout starts, luckily I have some really close friends who know when this happens I’m not being rude, I am in a way trying to shield them from what I see as the less fun version of the friend they usually know. However towards the end of an episode I have to start talking to people close to me again to help me get back to normality.

@InbetweenDreams in summary, I don’t know if any of this helps but one thing I’ve said here before is if any of us ever feel low, depressed etc - we are not alone x

That's kind of what I worry about, that I'm going to get on something that does nothing or almost nothing. I will have to say that Zoloft did make a change, but I just felt nothing and forget sex. I do have friends but they're not always available to talk to, or I feel like I'm being a pest and whether I am or not is not known but that's how I often feel.

@InbetweenDreams That's pretty much where I'm at right now. Initially I'm gonna try putting the cuff on, wearing it for a bit, and taking it off while just trying to get past the initial jolt that comes with the idea of taking the BP. Hoping I can get to the point where it's no longer a big deal and then press the button and inflate the cuff.

Are you concerned that your BP will test high or does it make you feel like you're at the doctor's office? One thing that tends to help me, if I can get my attention focused in the right direction, is comedy. Anything funny helps me. Here lately I have been on a Bill Burr kick. He's funny as hell, one of the better stand up comics in recent history and has a zero fucks given attitude which I like. Kind of helps me relax oddly enough. Almost like how opposites tend to work, like listening to heavy metal results in being calmer. I mean, I'm not saying put on some Slayer and take your BP but something that will draw your attention away. Same thing goes to how I deal with getting blood drawn, I just look away, no way in fucking hell am I looking at that shit go in my arm. I mean, I'm not the squeamish type but something about watching them do that to you. Once I almost passed out when they drew blood and ever since I've been a bit more anxious and not looking forward to that part of the doctor's visit.