Is this right?

[spotysocks]

Hi,
I think you have it easy!
I am a 39 year old guy who has been married for 15 years,and yet at the age of 39 with no gay relationships what so ever,i have said to my self" enough is enough" and have started to visit gay sites.
Infact this site is the only gay site i have been to in my life.
My problem is that i know i am gay,but can not approach men or even go to gay bars and clubs since they are "pro" sort of speak.
I am looking for a man who is atleast 20 years my senior so that i can with him,"come out".
I am feeling so frustrated that your feelings to me is just water under the bridge.
I know what men expect women to do in bed,but can not physicaly(even though i want to) do that for a man,infact i am not gay i think,i am a woman traped in a man's body,since i do not want to be the man in any relationship.
I run a good business and am well off finacialy.
I just don't know where to start??? I don't know who to trust??
If the first guy who takes me to bed wants to bum me,i will probably break his neck,but if a guy with a wealth of experiance starts me off on trivial acts or a "biginers guide to being gay" then i will stck with him.
I am not english and have more hair than average english guys so this too makes me feel that could be a handicap for me.
Can any of you guys help me out me on this?
At this moment in time i can only make friends with much older guys! or a guy who is in the same boat as me!

Sorry for intruding your converstation in a way . I quote your reply to another thread so i comment here.
Everyone has a type but i dont understand why the guy you are looking for 'has to be' at least 20 years older than you. It wont do what you said "come out with him". In my opinion you need a man near your age who can understand your situation. Realistically talking a 20 years gap between you 2 wont make a difference.

If you fantasize being in the passive role with a man that doesnt exactly mean you are a woman in a man's body. Dont make any rush decisions or judgments. I watching a documentary a few months ago with a man who had a sex change operation. Basically that man was very successful in what he was doing but at some point things went wrong and he got bankrupt , he was really distressed and everything combined together led him to a sex change operation. then he decided it was a mistake and wanted to change back just about when he got his wealth back and was financially secure again. He blamed his psychotherapist who apparently encouraged him to his decision.

Your best option is to start simple and find someone in the same boat or more experienced than you to explore. For a guide to safe sex check www.metromate.org.uk

As for your marriage , as Serfdom said you have these 2 options. You can keep it secret or talk with her as a couple. Whatever you choose be careful especially if you have kids..but thats your business anyway.