Is this right?

[yal]

I so much agree with you spotysocks,but thats my rational side,where my emotional side is tearing me aprat and pushing me to the older mans' side!
Maybe if i had the chance to make it happen,then after ,things would calm down in my head.
I suppose it's a mental disorder?? since 20 years ago when i used to live in america,i met a girl who after 6 months opened up to me and told me about her uncle who at that time was 32 and she was 21,and to be honest with you,i actualy cooked her up for him,just to see them have sex with eachother,i guess what i know now is that in the back of my mind i was her,and the uncle was the older man! so it is deep rooted in me!
I have so many times allowed an ex girl friend to have sex with an older man,infact the older the better and i did enjoy it more than having sex myself!
Now it has zoomed on me,since there is no more girlfriends about and my wife 1000's of miles away!
So i know what's going on with me and know it could be a disorder,but it is still urging me to do it,like the smokers.. they know it's bad for them and will kill them eventualy but they still crave the time to run out the pub and light one!
So i guess i am the smoker in the pub or the airplane and the older guy is the fag!